Episode 6
Turning Trauma into Triumph with Jay Nixon
In today's episode I have with me today Jay Nixon of Thrive Fitness Studio. Jay is an author, mentor, coach, speaker, and podcaster. He lost his farther at a very young age leaving him feeling lost and alone. Tune in to discover how he was able to turn his trauma into triumph and his pain into purpose!
https://www.thriveforeverfit.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/wellnesslablaunchpad
IG: https://www.instagram.com/jaynixon.thrivefitness
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇
https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/
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Transcript
Hey, Hey, Hey, welcome to today's episode of The becoming
Speaker:the big money podcast. It is solopreneurs Saturday and I have
Speaker:with me today, Jay Nixon. He is an author and author of the
Speaker:purpose of pain. And he is a transformational coach. He is
Speaker:helping people completely transformed their lives, giving
Speaker:them the tools and techniques they need to turn their tragedy
Speaker:into triumph. Hey, Jay, how are you doing today?
Speaker:Hey, how you doing? That was beautiful. I can I'm just gonna
Speaker:carry you around with me and be like, this is me. Well, I
Speaker:am so excited to share your story here. With everyone I know
Speaker:that you are living in your purpose helping lift people up
Speaker:right now. But before we really get into what's going on with
Speaker:you right now, can you just give me a quick synopsis of what has
Speaker:brought you to where you are?
Speaker:Totally I think what has me living in purpose and on purpose
Speaker:today is like the you know, not to start talking about my book
Speaker:already. But I had a very traumatic like early childhood.
Speaker:My father was killed when I was five years old in a car wreck.
Speaker:And then after that, probably for the next 20 years. Every few
Speaker:years, I would lose someone really important to me like my
Speaker:my grandfather, who was my father figure after my dad then
Speaker:my other kind of mentor father figure and then at when I was
Speaker:25, my best friend put a shotgun in his mouth and killed pull the
Speaker:trigger. And so I live for like 20 to 25 years in this like,
Speaker:chaotic world of like, tragedy, if you will. And I didn't really
Speaker:know what to do while I was in it. And now that I've kind of
Speaker:come out of the other side That's kind of like where I feel
Speaker:like my purpose is like to help people because everybody's going
Speaker:to go through pain. But they don't have to suffer. You know,
Speaker:suffering is optional. And I feel like that my job, my
Speaker:purpose, the reason I'm was put on this earth is to take all of
Speaker:that stuff, those tragedies, and turn them into triumphant wins
Speaker:and show other people how they can do the exact same thing,
Speaker:regardless of what they've gone through.
Speaker:They can indeed, so when Let's dive back into your childhood a
Speaker:little bit when you were losing people close to you, when you
Speaker:were losing your father.
Speaker:What
Speaker:was going through your mind? Like what kind of mental state
Speaker:are you in?
Speaker:You know what, as a five year old, I think they say that
Speaker:between the ages of five and seven is when is when kids
Speaker:really start to remember things. They have like childhood amnesia
Speaker:before that. But for me, like at five years old, losing my dad,
Speaker:like I didn't know how to process it, because I had no
Speaker:reference points, you know what I mean? Like at five, you don't,
Speaker:you can't say, well, this feels like this, because I've gone
Speaker:through it before. So I really didn't understand it. And I went
Speaker:through these bouts of like, just when you don't understand
Speaker:something, you have to like, put, like, you have to put a
Speaker:label on it or put an emotion on it, that may not be correct. So
Speaker:I put fear in the place of understanding. And I became
Speaker:like, almost like, afraid of things. And through that fear, I
Speaker:like didn't know how to handle my emotions. And so I would be
Speaker:very, like, just pent up with like anger and misunderstanding
Speaker:and those types of things because I didn't know how to
Speaker:express myself, you know. So that was kind of how it all
Speaker:started. And then as I progressed, you know, through
Speaker:those other losses, you know, the same thing I just kept like,
Speaker:it was like the universe was piling on top of me, and I
Speaker:didn't know how to get out from under it. Because I never
Speaker:developed those coping skills as a young child, because my first
Speaker:remembrance of anything was this, like, crazy tragedy of
Speaker:like, you know, hey, one day my dad's here, the next minute,
Speaker:he's not and there's no way to, there's no way to process that
Speaker:when you're that young.
Speaker:Yeah, how was how was that, um, like, with you and your mom.
Speaker:You know, what I did is, um, even though I had my brother six
Speaker:years older than me, and this sounds crazy to say, and I know
Speaker:most people might not be able to understand this. But as a five
Speaker:year old, I almost took on the role of the protector of my
Speaker:house, I became very protective of my whole family. So I was
Speaker:terrified that my mother was going to die because at five
Speaker:years old, you think of what my dad died so easily, then my mom
Speaker:might not wake up tomorrow. So I had this fear association with
Speaker:like, being close to my mom, I felt like if I get close to my
Speaker:mom, and I love her like I'm supposed to, but what if she
Speaker:dies, then what am I gonna do? Like, I'm gonna be alone
Speaker:forever. So I had these crazy feelings of like, uncertainty
Speaker:about like, Am I supposed to love my mom, because if I do,
Speaker:and everybody I love dies, then she might die. And so there's
Speaker:this crazy dichotomy of like me trying to be like, the protector
Speaker:of my mother, but also like, protecting my own emotions and
Speaker:my own feelings and hard to process and think that a five
Speaker:year old could think that dynamically, but that's what I
Speaker:remember of it.
Speaker:And growing up, you said, when you're you were 25, when you
Speaker:lost your friend by suicide, how would you say like, your
Speaker:response to that? Was it different? Or was it similar to
Speaker:your response when you were five?
Speaker:Definitely. So I conditioned myself. You know, at one point
Speaker:when I was about 16 years old, my next door neighbor, who was
Speaker:my, my kind of my closest father figure, it was Christmas day, I
Speaker:was over at his house, he had a heart attack, I ended up having
Speaker:to give him CPR until the ambulance came, and he passed
Speaker:away on the way to the hospital. So I was so conditioned by by
Speaker:the time that my that shot killed himself that I had these
Speaker:walls up of like, I mean, this is just what happens to me, you
Speaker:know what I mean? Like, after something happens so many times
Speaker:you You almost become numb to it. So I conditioned myself to
Speaker:expect death to be around me. So when it happened, yes, you're
Speaker:sad, but my emotional ability to like, cry or have those like
Speaker:empathy. You know, I mean, like those feelings that you're
Speaker:supposed to feel kind of not there because I had like, I felt
Speaker:like I just I had cried every tear I could possibly cry for
Speaker:everybody I was ever gonna lose, you know what I mean? And so I
Speaker:just I almost became numb to the situation.
Speaker:You kind of like boxed it out. Totally. But yeah. And so from
Speaker:that point, can you start to walk me through like when the
Speaker:transition started happening for you,
Speaker:you know, was pretty soon after, after my friend Chuck killed
Speaker:himself. I started to just you know, that the years and the
Speaker:year or two after that, I started to realize that like
Speaker:the, the ideals I had about life like this limiting belief that
Speaker:life was scarce and it was supposed to be short. And like
Speaker:that things were gonna happen to me with such a controlling
Speaker:mechanism for my life that I had transitioned into other areas as
Speaker:well. Like I would I would push friends away, like, I wouldn't
Speaker:allow anybody to get close to me. I didn't want to, I didn't
Speaker:fully pour myself into like, my work, because I always felt
Speaker:like, Listen, I could I'm probably not gonna be here very
Speaker:long. What's the point in like, going all in on a career? What's
Speaker:the point in going all in on making money? What's the point
Speaker:in going on and on, like, my spirituality or anything, so I
Speaker:kind of lived very, you know, day to day for a long time. And
Speaker:then I just kept started thinking as I got closer towards
Speaker:30 years old, this is not sustainable. Like, I'm not going
Speaker:to be able to sustain this from a mental perspective, for very
Speaker:much longer, because that was breaking down, just like
Speaker:internally, I never shared that with anyone. But on the inside,
Speaker:like, I knew that that pattern was going to have to fix itself.
Speaker:And so what I started doing is I started looking like my own self
Speaker:help journey, because I didn't know it wasn't like it is today,
Speaker:where you can go online, and there's a guru for everything.
Speaker:Back then it was like, What the heck do I do you know what I
Speaker:mean? So, you know, I was I would read books by Deepak
Speaker:Chopra, you know, the original, like, dudes that were like
Speaker:trying to help you through things of this nature. That's
Speaker:kind of like the way it all started. And then I got deeper
Speaker:and deeper and deeper into personal development and
Speaker:seminars and things of that nature. And that's what kind of
Speaker:really like, opened up my world to this like, I can be do and
Speaker:have anything that I want mentality.
Speaker:I love that you said that because for me, it was the same
Speaker:way, like getting mentors getting involved really heavily
Speaker:involved into personal development. For me, it actually
Speaker:came first in a multi level marketing company. They're very
Speaker:big on, you know, personal development. And that was kind
Speaker:of my first introduction. But that environment being around
Speaker:other people growing, I have noticed to be a very common
Speaker:theme for people in their journey.
Speaker:I've had a coach for the last 15 years, like I always say, never
Speaker:trust a coach without a coach. So I am I have multiple coaches,
Speaker:I'm in multiple mastermind groups, I believe in surrounding
Speaker:myself with like minded people who have this desire to grow and
Speaker:evolve. And it doesn't matter what level you want to start at,
Speaker:like I want to be around people that are just starting out. And
Speaker:I will also be around people like I believe in the whole plus
Speaker:minus equals scenario. Like I want all of those in my circle
Speaker:so that I can help someone who's a minus get up to my level, I
Speaker:want someone who's an equal so we can spar and like, you know,
Speaker:really go at it mentally. And then I want those pluses that
Speaker:I'm chasing because success leaves clues, you know?
Speaker:Yeah, and you you exactly what you're saying that success
Speaker:leaves clues. But also, just like being in that energy field
Speaker:that
Speaker:helps totally
Speaker:you uplift. Now, I know that you have dove in a little bit more
Speaker:into your spiritual side. What was your spiritual life growing
Speaker:up? Was it present at all?
Speaker:Did you go to church like,
Speaker:Yeah, that's a good question. So I wrote I wrote about this in
Speaker:the book in depth, because it's such a it was such a weird thing
Speaker:for me, I grew up in, in Texas, I grew up in like the, the
Speaker:Baptist Church capital of the world, so that you know, there's
Speaker:more churches, and there are people in the town I grew up
Speaker:with. And so it was a really weird situation before my father
Speaker:passed away. I don't remember anything about church. I don't
Speaker:remember anything about the Bible. I don't remember anything
Speaker:about any of that. But we lived in like the small town in West
Speaker:Texas, I was actually out in the country. But as soon as my dad
Speaker:passed away, the church people and that sounds like a weird
Speaker:thing to say, the church, people of the town. They all started to
Speaker:like come in to check on us and things of that nature. And it
Speaker:was almost like a, this sounds awful. But it's like a
Speaker:recruiting process. Almost. It's like, oh, come to our church, or
Speaker:you come to this church, and best intentions, right. But as a
Speaker:five year old, when I went to church, and I listened to the
Speaker:message of you know, God will take care of you and blah, blah,
Speaker:blah. And at five years old, what it just happened to me. I
Speaker:couldn't put those two things together. I'm like, if this God
Speaker:is such an amazing God, and He wants me to be happy and take
Speaker:care of me, I couldn't wrap my mind around, like why he would
Speaker:take my dad away from me, right? The only the only the only
Speaker:perspective I could gain from it is I must be a horrible person.
Speaker:Because bad things happen to bad people. My dad was taken away
Speaker:from me. So it must have been my fault, right? And so I carried
Speaker:that with me for a really long time and like organized religion
Speaker:and go into church. And then when I got to an age where I can
Speaker:make my own decisions, you know, when mom was no longer making me
Speaker:get up and go to Sunday school and go to church, I stopped
Speaker:going to what I would consider to be like organized religion.
Speaker:And I kind of started my own quest like I want to study
Speaker:everything, Buddhism I'm Taoism like Hindu, like, I want to know
Speaker:about everything, so that I can make my own decisions on how I
Speaker:want to move through the world. On the flip side of that, I give
Speaker:everybody else that same freedom, like I don't, I don't
Speaker:care what you believe in as long as you do no harm to someone
Speaker:else in the, in the the opportunity of your belief. And
Speaker:so I would say now I consider myself and this is very vague,
Speaker:but to be more of a spiritual person, like I work with energy
Speaker:healers, you know, I believe in you know, the chakras and the
Speaker:meridians and the, you know, I think all we are as human beings
Speaker:is energy. And I think if you can really tap into that and get
Speaker:a really great understanding of, of why you're here from a
Speaker:purposeful nature is to connect with other energy sources and
Speaker:other energy beings. That doesn't matter what you believe.
Speaker:I mean, I believe there is a God, I just don't believe in the
Speaker:same structural zation that the Bible lays it out in write, I
Speaker:call it the universe, I, you know, I mean, so, but I don't
Speaker:get caught up in that some people do like, I'm a free
Speaker:spirit of like, you do you and let's all be happy. And let's
Speaker:love each other. And at the end of the day, if we come together
Speaker:like that, like, that's the real win, right? So for me, I went
Speaker:from my religious, Southern Baptist, come up to the front of
Speaker:the church, and don't be a senator anymore. It's a now
Speaker:like, knowing who I am as a spiritual being, and knowing
Speaker:that my purpose here on life is to make other people's lives
Speaker:better. And I think as long as I'm walking that path, I can't
Speaker:really go wrong.
Speaker:Yeah, so you haven't always been walking on this path, you used
Speaker:to work in kind of the pharmaceutical kind of health
Speaker:care world.
Speaker:How was that? Awful.
Speaker:So you know, growing up, you know, as a young man, you're
Speaker:taught, you're supposed to wear a suit, and you're supposed to
Speaker:have a name tag, and you're supposed to have a title. And I
Speaker:had a company car, and I had an expense account, and I was
Speaker:selling pharmaceuticals that I wouldn't take myself, like, I
Speaker:won't even take an Advil, now. I don't take any pharmaceutical
Speaker:medications, I don't take anything like that, nor would I
Speaker:recommend my family or friends. So I went to work conflicted. On
Speaker:You know, from the outside perspective of I'm going to make
Speaker:money, I have a really great job, I have a company car, all
Speaker:the things I talked about, but I'm selling something that's not
Speaker:congruent with what I really believe in. And I got to a point
Speaker:where I'm like, this just is not serving me, and I'm not serving
Speaker:my purpose here on the earth, in doing what it is that I'm doing.
Speaker:And so it was that, that internal struggle and an
Speaker:internal battle to know that, like, you can make money doing
Speaker:anything, you can probably make more, I mean, I make 10 times
Speaker:more money now, as working for myself and with other people and
Speaker:doing what I do, than I ever did ever would have, you know,
Speaker:having a major corporations title behind my name, you know
Speaker:what I mean? And so, the separation of that was was one
Speaker:of the biggest transformational moments for me, it allowed me to
Speaker:start living as my true authentic self, because as long
Speaker:as I was like, perpetrating that like false belief or that false
Speaker:j that I'm really not, I was never gonna be able to be my my
Speaker:true self, to my relationships, my health and fitness, my
Speaker:spirituality, my anything. I mean, I took that mask off of
Speaker:like, I have to be this corporate dude, my life got so
Speaker:much more amazing. You know, it's, it's get astronomically
Speaker:different.
Speaker:What was your aha moment that you had to leave?
Speaker:I just, it was a struggle everyday. So you know, when
Speaker:you're pharmaceutical rep, you go around from office to office,
Speaker:and you see sick people day in and day out, and day in and day
Speaker:out, and you talk to doctors who really don't, I mean, I'm gonna
Speaker:say this in this, this is gonna come off wrong. It's the only
Speaker:way I can articulate it. Now. They care about the patient, but
Speaker:they don't care about the patient, like, I would like them
Speaker:to care about the patient, if that makes any sense, right. And
Speaker:I know they don't have the capacity to because they can't
Speaker:spend eight hours with one patient cuz there's, you know,
Speaker:75 people waiting in the waiting room. So I get that aspect of
Speaker:it. But it was just I was I was working in and around things
Speaker:that were not congruent with how I felt on the inside. And
Speaker:eventually when that internal battle and internal struggle
Speaker:gets so deep, and the pivotal moment for me was, I met my
Speaker:significant other Laurie now who was very entrepreneurial, very
Speaker:spiritual, just like I am, we share a lot, all the same
Speaker:ideals. And she basically believed in me before I believed
Speaker:in myself that I could do what it is that I do. health and
Speaker:fitness, nutrition, transformational coaching all
Speaker:that. And, you know, she actually allowed me to give
Speaker:myself permission, if you will, to really follow that path. And,
Speaker:you know, drop the corporate structure and do all that kind
Speaker:of jazz. So I hats off to her and I write about her in both of
Speaker:my books. I'm a firm believer that we get nowhere in life on
Speaker:our own. And I have no idea where I'd be if I hadn't met
Speaker:her.
Speaker:Yeah, I am. I can relate on a certain level because I left the
Speaker:corporate world six figure income to do my own business as
Speaker:well. So, for the people out there who are still in the nine
Speaker:to five, who are still in, you know, the working environment,
Speaker:but maybe they have something on their heart that they want to
Speaker:do, you know, what was kind of your first steps to like, get
Speaker:out of that to start building your own thing? What would you
Speaker:recommend?
Speaker:You know, there's a couple of options, right? Like ever in the
Speaker:in the world we live in now, like everybody's talking about
Speaker:the side hustle like, you know, you start your thing. Well, you
Speaker:got your other thing. For me, that really didn't work. Like I
Speaker:went all in on my fitness and nutrition business. And that
Speaker:meant starting with zero clients. That meant starting
Speaker:with like, a fundamental belief that I could create this and
Speaker:make this happen. And it worked out amazingly well for me. But I
Speaker:think if you're going to do that, you've got to go in with
Speaker:a, an deniable unfathomable uncrackable belief that you are
Speaker:going to be successful. And you need a good support system, a
Speaker:good circle of success around you, that's going to give you
Speaker:that pat on the butt when you need it, because you're going to
Speaker:need that as an entrepreneur or somebody who's just now starting
Speaker:out. But I think the most important thing is this. If you
Speaker:find something that you're unbelievably truly passionate
Speaker:about, like not just a little bit, not because it's fun, not
Speaker:because it's cute, not because it's popular on Instagram. But
Speaker:something that like when you get up in the morning, I'll give you
Speaker:an example, I get up at 333 15 to 330. Every morning, when I
Speaker:was in the corporate world, I set my alarm for 30 minutes
Speaker:before I had to be out the door 630 and I hated getting up. Now
Speaker:I get up before my alarm even goes off. And I'm so freakin
Speaker:happy that I can't stand it. And that's how you'll know when you
Speaker:start doing something that you are so freakin happy to do that
Speaker:you don't even call it work anymore. That's the thing for
Speaker:you. Like, that's the thing that's gonna get you to where
Speaker:you want to go in life. That's the thing that you're gonna be
Speaker:able to create a life of abundance with?
Speaker:Yeah, so the bullet let's, let's talk a little bit more about
Speaker:that self belief. As someone who grew up with a lot of guilt, and
Speaker:maybe even shame, how did you build that self belief, that
Speaker:self confidence because I know, that's something that a lot of
Speaker:us struggle with.
Speaker:Yeah, for me, I'm all about my rituals and my standards and my
Speaker:habits. And so I create, um, luckily, luckily for me, I'm a
Speaker:little bit OCD. So it works in my favor, because I can create
Speaker:habits and standards and rituals for myself. And when I create
Speaker:them, I stick to them. So it's like I was talking about getting
Speaker:up at like, 315 to 330. Every morning, I get up, I go through
Speaker:a morning routine, like I'm very structured in my, in my craft,
Speaker:what it is that I do. And I think that's important when
Speaker:you're first starting out. When you get later down the road. If
Speaker:you want to be a little more loose with yourself, I think
Speaker:that's great. But just starting out, you need these controlled
Speaker:habits so you can know where you're at throughout the day.
Speaker:And so that you can like, make sure that you're in the right
Speaker:frame of reference in the right frame of mind when you're doing
Speaker:all of those things. And so I think the self belief comes with
Speaker:this too, keeping promises to yourself. So that's where most
Speaker:people go wrong as they break promises that they make to
Speaker:themselves. And for some people that broken promises themselves
Speaker:for so long, that now they don't even believe their own stuff.
Speaker:You know, they don't even believe when they when they say
Speaker:they're going to do something like they know, even when they
Speaker:say it that it's not going to happen. So they just don't do
Speaker:it.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Can you expand a little bit on your your morning routine for
Speaker:me?
Speaker:Because
Speaker:I'm with you that when you're in alignment, you get excited for
Speaker:the day. But also, you know, if you're waking up early, I'm
Speaker:assuming there's some intention setting going on? Can you What's
Speaker:happening? Absolutely. So
Speaker:and I'm glad you said that I love that word alignment. I
Speaker:think that's the key word that if you're in alignment,
Speaker:everything flows so much better. So 315 to 330, I get up the
Speaker:first thing I do every morning and Laurie can attest this, as I
Speaker:say, holy shit, I'm alive. Because I think it's an amazing
Speaker:thing. Like I think we take that for granted. And then I say
Speaker:thank you. So and then I go in and I start my journaling
Speaker:process. So the first thing I do is I start my I do like a
Speaker:gratitude card every day. So I have these cards that I write to
Speaker:myself. And the first word on top of every card is thank you
Speaker:because I'm just, you know, thanking the universe thanking
Speaker:God for the abundance that I have in my life. And then I
Speaker:write as many things as I'm thankful for on that particular
Speaker:card. So I start every single day like that, um, I do an
Speaker:intention setting for the day. So I set my intention for the
Speaker:day, what is my day going to look like? What's my goal for
Speaker:today. Then I go into a little bit of a journaling process
Speaker:where I talk about the action steps related to that intention
Speaker:and how I'm going to make that intention come to fruition. And
Speaker:then I basically get myself ready, head to the gym. I start
Speaker:seeing clients at my studio between but most of them start
Speaker:showing up around 430 in the morning, so Just start that
Speaker:connection process of, you know, working with people and you
Speaker:know, connecting with other humans, which I think is super
Speaker:vital.
Speaker:Yeah, I agree. What can you go to bed? Just curious?
Speaker:Yeah. So that's the that's the first question. Most people ask
Speaker:me when I tell them how early I get up, I usually go to sleep.
Speaker:My goal is to be asleep by nine o'clock. If some night if some
Speaker:nights if I'm asleep by 830. That's a huge win. Some nights
Speaker:it might be eight o'clock if I've had like a really, you
Speaker:know, mentally taxing, you know, stressful week or something of
Speaker:that nature. So in between eight and nine,
Speaker:and our How do you like create space for yourself to sleep?
Speaker:Yeah, to have like that good rest, because I know, in our day
Speaker:and age with cell phones and social media, sometimes we can
Speaker:get like caught up in stuff. Can you kind of?
Speaker:Yeah, so I do, like I do a technology disconnect. Probably
Speaker:my goal is to be disconnected by about six to 630. So after 630,
Speaker:I don't look at my phone. I don't answer my phone, my
Speaker:phone's on silent. Like I don't know, if it rings, I don't know,
Speaker:if you text me, I don't know, if you email me, I don't know
Speaker:anything. Um, so that's kind of my way of disconnecting from the
Speaker:world like that two hours before, at least minimum of two
Speaker:hours before I'm going to fall asleep. And that really allows
Speaker:my brain to like, get back to just like normal functioning
Speaker:without all of them, the likes and messages and blah, blah,
Speaker:blah, blah, blah, and all that stuff that we're also addicted
Speaker:to. Um, so yeah, I just the technology, disconnect is
Speaker:imperative for me. And I run my day, and like two shifts. And so
Speaker:when you get up at 315, by 1130, I mean, I've pretty much worked
Speaker:an eight hour day, right? So then between 1130, and like, one
Speaker:o'clock, usually that hour and a half, it's kind of j time, if I
Speaker:need to take a 15 minute nap, I'll take a 15 minute nap. If I
Speaker:need to meditate for half an hour, I'll meditate. Like,
Speaker:that's my time to like reconnect with the world, outside of
Speaker:social media outside of work outside of everything. And then
Speaker:from 130 to like I said about 630. That's like the second
Speaker:shift of my day.
Speaker:So being a coach, a lot of what we do as coaches is we're
Speaker:listening to other people's problems and kind of what's
Speaker:going on in their lives. Can't How are you separating? Like,
Speaker:you're like, if maybe if you're not in the best mood that day,
Speaker:how are you creating a barrier between that and your coaching,
Speaker:this is gonna sound crazy, I am 99% of the time. And so my
Speaker:favorite, I believe in like state control, I believe in like
Speaker:controlling your state as the most optimal thing you can do
Speaker:for your life. And so equanimity is my favorite word. So
Speaker:equanimity basically means neither too high or too low.
Speaker:You're basically in flow state with, you know, the universe. So
Speaker:that's really where I try to keep my state. I'm occasionally
Speaker:I mean, we're not, nobody's perfect, you're going to be
Speaker:elevated, or you're going to be down a little bit. But for the
Speaker:most part, I'm really great at controlling my state. But that's
Speaker:come with like, 10 years of work at that, you know what I mean?
Speaker:So now in the stage of my career, I'm really able to
Speaker:disconnect from outside things aggravating work stuff,
Speaker:technology, breakdowns, things of that nature. I just know that
Speaker:at the end of the day, like those things are
Speaker:inconsequential. And the most important thing for me to do is
Speaker:to tap into that one on one energy connection, like I talked
Speaker:about earlier with my client, because that's what they
Speaker:deserve. And that's really, you know, that's my purpose is to
Speaker:give them everything they deserve. And it's not really
Speaker:even about me anymore.
Speaker:Yeah, and with that state control, I feel like that's
Speaker:something that also comes with that in our work totally is we,
Speaker:we see mirrored in our lives, how we feel about ourselves,
Speaker:totally. I said yesterday to to one of my clients, like they
Speaker:were going through the scenario, and it's this, it's an analogy
Speaker:that we've all heard, but we see the world as we are not as it
Speaker:is. And so if I come if I come into a state in a state of
Speaker:anger, aggravation, or whatever, that's the energy that you and I
Speaker:are going to have to fight through to get to whatever it is
Speaker:that we really need to get to. So it's it's a it's not fair for
Speaker:me to bring that baggage always say like, you know, I have a
Speaker:note on the hands of my office that says that I'm responsible
Speaker:for the energy that I bring into every senate situation or
Speaker:scenario. And so I truly believe that we are responsible for the
Speaker:energy that we bring into even this connection we have today
Speaker:like you and I chatting like we're both responsible to anyone
Speaker:who's listening to have a beautiful, great connective
Speaker:energy where we honestly care about what each other have to
Speaker:say. And I can expand and expound on those things. So
Speaker:that's where people are going to get the true value.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:where do you suggest someone kind of starts starts, let
Speaker:because I mean, we've been here we've been doing this work for a
Speaker:little while. So if we have if you are in this state There's a
Speaker:bug flying around I'm sorry. If you are in this state of anxiety
Speaker:or fear, and you're you don't know, even know how to
Speaker:comprehend this state control that you're talking about?
Speaker:What's your suggestion?
Speaker:You know, I think about this all the time, because I always ask
Speaker:myself, like, what would I do? What would Jay do today? If all
Speaker:of this was available? You know, back then whenever I started my
Speaker:journey, I'm in my first thought is like, I've probably been has,
Speaker:as I would probably have been as overwhelmed as I was
Speaker:underwhelmed at that stage, right. So back then it was a
Speaker:struggle to find things. Now, that would almost be like an
Speaker:excess of information, because everybody's got a system or
Speaker:everybody's got a theory or everybody's got to something, I
Speaker:think the most important thing for you to do is to kind of back
Speaker:into this question. So I believe in broadening your perspective,
Speaker:trying to see things from a much wider view than you normally
Speaker:would in these scenarios. That way, you can actually take in
Speaker:information and figure out what works for you. And I would also
Speaker:say to someone, like, how do you learn the best, like some people
Speaker:are audible learners, some people can read a book and
Speaker:implement strategies really, really easy. Some people can
Speaker:read a book and not even remember what they read three
Speaker:pages ago. So I think you first and foremost have to really tap
Speaker:into you and like what works for you? Do you work? Well, in a in
Speaker:a group coaching program? You know, or are you more of a one
Speaker:on one person? These are all questions I would ask myself.
Speaker:And I would get that answer before I started, like, in the
Speaker:in my book, I talk about the personal development vortex. So
Speaker:what I think is happening today is there's such an over influx
Speaker:of information that everybody is over consuming, and under
Speaker:utilizing, meaning we're consuming so many things from so
Speaker:many different people in so many different formats, that at the
Speaker:end of the day, we don't even know what to do and we're not
Speaker:doing anything. So I would say minimize, and this sounds crazy
Speaker:to say from a coach's perspective, minimize your
Speaker:ingestion of information. And then take that minimization and
Speaker:implement whatever it is that you ingest, so that you know if
Speaker:that works for you. So if you listen to it, let's just say you
Speaker:listen to coach Ted, listen to what Coach Ted has to say,
Speaker:implement the strategies that coach Ted gives you. And then
Speaker:give your audit yourself audit the feedback that you want to
Speaker:give yourself. Did those strategies work for me? If yes,
Speaker:do more of that? If no, find another way to do it, right?
Speaker:keep trying and sampling to figure out like what works for
Speaker:you, because everybody has a different path. And all paths
Speaker:can lead to the same destination?
Speaker:Yeah, I want to touch back on just like the overload of
Speaker:information, because it really can be overwhelming. And you
Speaker:it's also hard to know, like, Who am I supposed to listen to
Speaker:like this person saying this, this person saying that and it
Speaker:just causes more of a confusion and a state of turmoil? And I do
Speaker:see I mean, as someone who is involved in masterminds and
Speaker:coaching, I do see this, almost like addiction to information
Speaker:happening. People are so addicted to being involved in a
Speaker:mastermind, but they're not actually utilizing the
Speaker:information,
Speaker:right? It's almost become kind of cool to be part of a group or
Speaker:to be in this guy's mastermind, or Oh, I went to this guy's live
Speaker:event or this lady's blah, blah, blah. I'm really lucky in the
Speaker:fat in the fact that like, I don't have like, I don't have
Speaker:human envy. So I don't, I don't look at like a coach's title.
Speaker:And so I'm You and I, we have two mega dudes that were part of
Speaker:the program and right and so it'd be really easy for some
Speaker:people to get caught up in like, Oh my gosh, like, that's not
Speaker:what it's about. For me, it's about the information
Speaker:dissemination, like what I can utilize from that. Because I
Speaker:wouldn't care if it was, I mean, Tony Robbins or whatever, if he
Speaker:didn't resonate with me, it wouldn't matter. Like I get no
Speaker:value out of that. And so I think a lot of times what I'd
Speaker:like to say to people who are looking for a coach is like,
Speaker:don't put the value on the title or the name of the person
Speaker:disseminating the information, put the value on the your
Speaker:ability to utilize the information that you're
Speaker:ingesting, and I'll be honest with you, a lot of the coaches
Speaker:me included ever, probably 90% of the people are saying
Speaker:virtually the same thing. They're just using different
Speaker:language. They're using different techniques. They're
Speaker:using different mediums. Some of them cause some of them don't
Speaker:cuss, some of them are religious, some of them are
Speaker:spiritual. Some of them are purple, some of them are brown,
Speaker:some of them are blue, figure out what you like to listen to.
Speaker:So here's here's what I'll tell you something about me. I know I
Speaker:have to be entertained and educated at the same time. If
Speaker:you can't entertain me, you can't educate me just how my
Speaker:brain works. I like to laugh while I learn. And so I know
Speaker:that it's important to parrot it for me to have a coach or be
Speaker:With a coach or in a system, where I can laugh a little bit
Speaker:while I'm learning, so just learn what learn how you'd like
Speaker:to learn, and then that will help you find the right coach
Speaker:for you.
Speaker:Yeah, that that awareness factor totally. I'm going to go diving
Speaker:deep figuring out your own self. Now that can be that's a whole
Speaker:new skirt. Yeah, that's a whole nother thing. Like, that's a
Speaker:whole nother level. And it is scary. And part of finding who
Speaker:you are, is creating space to find who you are. So that means,
Speaker:you know, I actually did an episode on this before on the
Speaker:magic of creating space, if you want to go back and listen to
Speaker:that, you guys. But in summary, it's basically you just need to
Speaker:give yourself that time away from the social media and the
Speaker:podcast and all of the information I know, sounds weird
Speaker:that I'm seeing this on a podcast on a person. And as
Speaker:someone who creates called as a content creator, like you need
Speaker:to take a step back from that. And part of that just even
Speaker:backtrack more is like that technology, detox before
Speaker:bedtime, like Jay was talking about something that I do as
Speaker:well, that's very important in my life. And you guys, if you
Speaker:take that step back, like that is the only way that you're
Speaker:going to actually find yourself. And then from that place, you
Speaker:can move forward. And you can be like, okay, now I can find the
Speaker:mentor. And now I can find the places where I can learn from.
Speaker:I'll give you I think that's amazingly intelligent and vital
Speaker:information. I would say, don't think about going back and
Speaker:listen to that episode. Go back and listen to that episode, if
Speaker:you haven't already, because I think that's crucial. And I'm
Speaker:going to expand on that a little bit deeper. So for myself, I
Speaker:know that I have to get away. So I'm such a I love to work I love
Speaker:I love what I do. It's not even work. I hate to use that. But I
Speaker:also know that I get extreme clarity when I'm away from it.
Speaker:So Laurie and I, we go on like these little sabbaticals like
Speaker:we're going to Sedona this weekend for a birthday, we go to
Speaker:these little places that when I come back from somewhere, I'm so
Speaker:much more clear. I'm so having much so much more clarity. And I
Speaker:agree, I'm a content creator as well. And I want to I want you
Speaker:guys to hear this. Like, I love social media, and I hate social
Speaker:media at the same time. And here's the reason I don't like
Speaker:it is because I think comparison is the thief of joy. And I think
Speaker:that's where a lot of people find themselves in. I'll tell
Speaker:you what I put up I posted at least one post on Instagram,
Speaker:usually every day, and I cannot tell you how many likes I get. I
Speaker:don't care. That's not why I post it, I don't post it to get
Speaker:likes, I post it because here's my here's my intention with that
Speaker:post. I want one person to read that and be like, Thank you, Jay
Speaker:like that, that is gonna help me today get to a different place
Speaker:of where I need to be. That's all I care about. I don't care
Speaker:if I get 5000 likes, who cares? If you get 5000 likes? If nobody
Speaker:does anything with your content? Who cares? What's the value of
Speaker:that? So create content, consume content based on value not on
Speaker:anything else? I don't care who posted it. It could be a dude
Speaker:with one follower and it may be a pivotal statement. That's
Speaker:that's just as important as if Tony Robbins post something. And
Speaker:they said the same thing. It's just as important. Doesn't
Speaker:matter who the title is behind the guy who posted it. We have
Speaker:to lose that concept.
Speaker:get crazy.
Speaker:I'm sorry, I get a little I get a little bit hyped up?
Speaker:No, it's okay. Because I'm so with you. Like sometimes people
Speaker:are like, Oh, I want to hire this coach because they have a
Speaker:million followers or whatever. And both of us we do have
Speaker:coaches who are in that space. Yeah, I do have a million
Speaker:followers. And, but that's not the important part. Like it
Speaker:doesn't matter what their following is or how many people
Speaker:are engaging with the content, like it really just, it matters,
Speaker:the message and how you can relate to it. And that's one
Speaker:thing that I want to share with you guys as well is no matter
Speaker:where you are at in your journey, like you can share and
Speaker:you might not even know that people are watching, you might
Speaker:not even know that people are being impacted. I can't even
Speaker:tell you how many people have come to me within the past year
Speaker:who have been like, I've been following your journey for the
Speaker:past six years. And I just want to tell you this and I'm like I
Speaker:never even knew who you were.
Speaker:Yeah, it happens all the time. Guys, I want she's dead spot on.
Speaker:Somebody is watching you right now and is waiting and wanting
Speaker:you to do something that's going to help them get to the next
Speaker:level of where they want to be.
Speaker:So based on that, um, what it was we're talking about, like
Speaker:this, lots of information out there. So tell me about like the
Speaker:fears about oversaturation,
Speaker:oversaturation in what context and what do you mean first in
Speaker:any business I see a lot of these fears coming up from
Speaker:people even like people asking me questions about like, I want
Speaker:to do this. But there's like, I'm not your mindset coach,
Speaker:like, tell me
Speaker:about that. 100% I think first and foremost, you have to you
Speaker:have to remove yourself from that comparison analogy. Like I
Speaker:think we all have unique abilities. And we all have these
Speaker:unique gifts. I'll give you guys a perfect scenario. So where am
Speaker:I Fitness Studio is in Palm Desert, California, I can throw
Speaker:a rock, and I'll be 45 I have no arm anymore, I'm probably gonna
Speaker:toss it under hand, I can underhand a rock and hit five
Speaker:fitness studios. But those are people that do the exact same
Speaker:thing that I do. And I don't say this is out of conceit or
Speaker:anything of that nature. I believe that I'm the best in
Speaker:town. I have an amazing clientele. And I never ever
Speaker:worry about someone going next door. I don't care. It's not I'm
Speaker:never worry about that. All I worry about is taking care of
Speaker:the people that I'm supposed to take care of. And that is who
Speaker:you will get drawn to you. people that aren't supposed to
Speaker:come to you guess what, they're not coming to you. No matter
Speaker:where you're at them had a pretty your sign is doesn't
Speaker:matter how many free things you give them doesn't matter what
Speaker:your discounts are, they're not coming to you. And if they do,
Speaker:they'll leave quickly because they're in the wrong place. But
Speaker:the people who are supposed to be with you will be with you. I
Speaker:mean, literally the the what I would consider like the
Speaker:competitor, if you will and I don't consider them that is
Speaker:literally less than 100 yards, 50 yards away from my front
Speaker:door. They have great clients. They run by my door sometimes
Speaker:and I'm like, Hey guys, what's going on? Like I treat them like
Speaker:they're my own clients, right? They don't come to me and that's
Speaker:okay. Like they have a home. Everybody's got a home. So, lose
Speaker:this oversaturation thing. So if you want to be an online coach,
Speaker:guess what? It's busy. There's people everywhere everybody's a
Speaker:coach today. But they're not you. They're not read they don't
Speaker:talk like you they're not going to feel like you they're not
Speaker:going to connect like you. They're not going to post like
Speaker:you so just be you don't mimic somebody else's strategies that
Speaker:somebody else's tactics, somebody else's language. You
Speaker:don't have to be Gary Vee, you will come off, so inauthentic.
Speaker:You don't have to be Andy for Sella, if use the F word every
Speaker:other word out of your mouth. And you're like a tiny little,
Speaker:you know, guy who's never worked out a day in his life, it's
Speaker:probably gonna come out inauthentic, you're gonna come
Speaker:out like Why don't you try to be handy like Andy's this giant
Speaker:beastly guy, you know, you weigh 117 pounds, it's like, for me,
Speaker:it wouldn't been rewarding work. Like it just wouldn't come off.
Speaker:Right? So just be you. Like, if you're authentically you, you
Speaker:can't lose.
Speaker:I that was gold. If you are authentically you, you cannot
Speaker:lose impossible. It's absolutely impossible. So like, throw away
Speaker:that fear of judgment. Like we've all been through shit.
Speaker:We've all been through horrible things, everyone, you know,
Speaker:we've, we need to stop allowing that to hold us back. Because
Speaker:guess what your neighbor was through something to Jay was
Speaker:through a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff. And guess what, the only
Speaker:way that we have been able to turn that around and turn our
Speaker:you know, the purpose of pain, turn our pain into purpose is by
Speaker:accepting that as part of who we are, and then allowing us to
Speaker:show up authentically. And just as he said, the right people are
Speaker:going to come to you like, I mean, I also own a marketing
Speaker:agency. So obviously, like I'm into like funnels and all of
Speaker:that stuff. But like that, honestly, doesn't matter. You
Speaker:don't need any of those things. You can attract the right people
Speaker:into your life without having any of those things. It's all
Speaker:just about like that energy that you're putting out there.
Speaker:Totally
Speaker:orthodontically you you cannot lose. But we talked about this
Speaker:before we started the podcast like guys, I do a lot of like
Speaker:training videos, and I speak I'm a speaker like I get paid to go
Speaker:stand on stage. I say words sometimes that aren't even
Speaker:words. Like I make up words that I'll be like to buy and I just
Speaker:say that, but that's just part of me being me. And guess what?
Speaker:Nobody's ever like, Oh my gosh, J so stupid. They laugh because
Speaker:it's like, it's just who I am. It's like it's a part of me. And
Speaker:they know that Jay is probably going to take two words, combine
Speaker:them and create his own word. And then he's probably going to
Speaker:start using it on a regular basis like a weirdo. But people
Speaker:are drawn to that because they I love weird people. Like if
Speaker:you're a little bit Goofy, and you're a little bit like outside
Speaker:of the norm like I'm drawn to you because I'm fascinated by
Speaker:people like I want to be around you. Like if you're all straight
Speaker:laced and you like memorize your script, and you've got your bow
Speaker:ties perfect and your hair's not messed up at all. It's like, you
Speaker:know, do you have the perfect background? I'm like, well, this
Speaker:is produced and staged. I'd rather just see you be you. And
Speaker:I'll follow you all day long because I love I love to watch
Speaker:people be themselves.
Speaker:When people can't relate to that they can't relate to this
Speaker:perfect image, it's like, well, that's so far removed from
Speaker:anywhere where I am told, it actually takes away from the
Speaker:message that you're trying to share.
Speaker:Yeah, I talked about my book like I'm a health and fitness
Speaker:guy. When I was young, I was so chubby that the thought of like
Speaker:shirts versus skins, like, that's what guys you have to
Speaker:play basketball and be like, Okay, you guys be sure to you
Speaker:guys be skins, the thought of having to be on skins. If I had
Speaker:to take my shirt off, like I lose my mind. Like, I know what
Speaker:it's like to be different. I know, it's like to be like an
Speaker:outlier. I know, it's like to like feel insecure, and not to
Speaker:be vulnerable and to be terrified. That's okay, still be
Speaker:terrified. So be vulnerable, nine, that's what gives me the
Speaker:authentic presence today of like, I'm just gonna be me. And
Speaker:like, if you liked me, then I want you to like me more, you
Speaker:know. And if you don't, then I am okay with that, too. Like, we
Speaker:just don't vibe. And that's cool as well.
Speaker:You just brought something up that I want to ask about as
Speaker:well. So one of the things that Jay does is he helps people with
Speaker:their weight loss, but on like an energetic level as well. So
Speaker:you're talking about how you used to feel, can you tell me
Speaker:how you've noticed this holding on to weight has to do with your
Speaker:energetic state
Speaker:100%. So I was telling, I was saying earlier, I use health and
Speaker:fitness to get people into my world so that I can really
Speaker:honestly truly help them transform into the human that
Speaker:they want to be they desire and they deserve to be. And I think
Speaker:weight loss is a side effect of actually healing. And coming to
Speaker:grips with the struggle or the tragedy or the pain that most
Speaker:people have inside of them. Most people aren't 300 pounds,
Speaker:because they just like potato chips, it's just not the way it
Speaker:is. The potato chip is just a vehicle for comfort, because
Speaker:they're masking it in some other fashion. And so what I do is I
Speaker:work on the whole transformational perspective of
Speaker:the soul and the mind. And I think that it all really starts
Speaker:in between the two years, our brain is the thing that's really
Speaker:controlling us. And if we get stuck in these tragedies of
Speaker:these painful moments of our lives, we will generally like
Speaker:self destruct and part of self destruction could be eating too
Speaker:much. Because it's safe. It's the one thing in your life you
Speaker:feel like you have control of. And so I know it's not as simple
Speaker:as saying, Hey, don't eat donuts anymore, right? Like that may
Speaker:work for a little while, but that will eventually break down.
Speaker:So you really have to work on the psychology behind why it is
Speaker:that someone is over indulging with food. And so that's really
Speaker:where I focus. That's really where my my main expertise lies,
Speaker:is really digging into the reasons why someone is stuck and
Speaker:not so much how they got stuck with the food issues.
Speaker:I like that I like that I've
Speaker:Do you follow Charlie rocket at all.
Speaker:I do not follow Charlie rocket
Speaker:I was it just reminded me of his journey, his weight loss journey
Speaker:he he has been holding on to a lot of weight. And he was
Speaker:recently in Bali. And the coach that he was working with,
Speaker:basically told him well, you can change your diet and you can
Speaker:like do all these things, but he still wasn't losing weight. And,
Speaker:and she was basically like you're holding on to
Speaker:the energy.
Speaker:They're energetic being of being overweight. And that's what you
Speaker:need to heal first, but it just reminded me of that all
Speaker:the emotional baggage that people have is much more
Speaker:destructive than the physical weight that they're carrying.
Speaker:And until you correct until you get a grasp on that emotional
Speaker:pain, that emotional baggage, you're never going to long term
Speaker:heal the physical weight and the physical pain. That's just the
Speaker:that's just the mask. And once you start to get vulnerable and
Speaker:get truthful about why you're really in the position you're
Speaker:in, then that's the only chance you ever have of like healing
Speaker:from anything.
Speaker:Yeah, completely. And so this podcast is starting to go. Go
Speaker:on, we could continue to dive into so many more topics, but
Speaker:we're gonna reel it back in now. So Jay, if there was one final
Speaker:thing that you could leave with the audience if they only get
Speaker:one thing out of this whole episode. lay it out for me now.
Speaker:I believe this wholeheartedly. I think that the universe or life
Speaker:always gives you two options and two options only you either get
Speaker:to evolve or you're going to have to repeat. And so I think
Speaker:we follow these archetypal patterns of things that happen
Speaker:in our life. And until we learn the lessons that we're supposed
Speaker:to learn, we will continue to repeat those lessons. And so I
Speaker:would look for the evolvement the message or the learning mean
Speaker:opportunity and everything like I believe that, you know, it's
Speaker:like Ed says, I think life happens for us and not to us. So
Speaker:everything you're going through everything you've gone through,
Speaker:try to find the message within that event within that person
Speaker:within that place within that time that you can take something
Speaker:to learn from. and utilize that to evolve past that tragedy past
Speaker:that adversity past that circumstance. So that you don't
Speaker:have to continue to repeat that same thing over and over again,
Speaker:because you will repeat it until you learn from it.
Speaker:Yes, now you are always creating awesome content. So if people
Speaker:want to be inspired by you, if your energy and your story
Speaker:related, where can they find you so they can get inspiration for
Speaker:sure. The easiest places to be if you're an Instagram person,
Speaker:it's just Jay Nixon. So j y, and IX o n dot thrive fitness. I'm
Speaker:on Facebook, just type my name Jay Nixon. And then my website
Speaker:is thrive forever, fit, calm.
Speaker:Awesome day. And as always, you guys, I'm gonna put all of those
Speaker:links in the description in the show notes as well, so you can
Speaker:easily find Him and follow Him. Thank you so much.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:I'm today. I'm
Speaker:so excited of just about our conversation. I want to have
Speaker:more conversations with you in the future is
Speaker:super fun.
Speaker:Awesome.
Speaker:Sweet. Awesome, man.
Speaker:That was super fun. Yeah,
Speaker:that was good. I like that.
Speaker:Yeah, I think it's just like, it's we talked about earlier,
Speaker:it's the energy, right? When you've got good energy to
Speaker:connection together. It's like, you can talk about anything,
Speaker:like everything really flows and, you know, just easy to, to
Speaker:go back and forth.
Speaker:Yeah. And we're, I mean, I feel that our experiences in life
Speaker:have obviously been extremely different, but also very
Speaker:similar. For sure. So I think we can we've talked well together I
Speaker:enjoyed doing that interview. Sometimes I have to kind of like
Speaker:cook. Yeah.
Speaker:Oh, like they're all a little bit more who aren't typically
Speaker:don't do as much speaking like, I've had, I had a couple of
Speaker:interviews with some older women who are doing a lot of really
Speaker:powerful work, but they're, you know, not
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You know, I think that comes to with like, it's like, the more
Speaker:you all I do is talk for a living, like I just try to help
Speaker:people through like, you know, verbal exchanges. And so you
Speaker:kind of get better at it, the more you do it, and you also
Speaker:help like I have, I feel like I have an energy connection with
Speaker:you. I feel like we could talk about anything when we start
Speaker:talking about like, weird random shit right now. And it would be
Speaker:awesome. Right? And so I think that helps as well. Like, I feel
Speaker:like you know, we have the same energy field. So I think that's
Speaker:always like pretty key as well.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker:completely agree. I, I try to keep, I always schedule like an
Speaker:hour and a half for the podcast, but I tried to a
