Episode 4
Following the Synchronicities with Evans Putman
Evans Putman is a coach, consultant and best-selling author who helps individuals and change-making entrepreneurs with big, positive missions monetize their messages and build profitable, scalable dream client businesses that change lives.
Evans is going on his 20th year in the online space as an entrepreneur. He is the creator of the Infinite Impact Methodâ„¢, 7-Figure Dream Client Podcast Blueprint and Co-Founder of My Podcast Coach.
Along with being a co-author of the #1 Best Seller Million Dollar Dads and soon to be released Entrepreneur's Playbook; Evans is also host of the Infinite Impact Radio and Message to Millions podcasts and his trainings have been licensed by and featured in ClickFunnels Founder Russell Brunson's high-ticket coaching programs.
evans@evansputman.com
Insta @evansputman
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
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Transcript
Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big
Speaker:me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together,
Speaker:we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all
Speaker:things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,
Speaker:you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for
Speaker:change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old
Speaker:self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can
Speaker:positively influence your business, your community, and
Speaker:ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right
Speaker:into it.
Speaker:Hello, hello, and welcome to the becoming the big new podcast.
Speaker:today. I have with me Evans Pittman. He is a coach and
Speaker:consultant who helps social entrepreneurs and changemakers
Speaker:create a profitable, profitable, purpose driven online business,
Speaker:which aligns with their core values and serves their ideal
Speaker:customers. He's also the host of the infinite impact Radio
Speaker:Podcast and creator of the infinite impact method. Oh,
Speaker:Evan, how are you doing today? I'm good. I'm good. I was it's a
Speaker:little bit of a tongue twister.
Speaker:Purpose Driven profitable? Yeah, I know that. I do that on
Speaker:purpose to throw everybody off and get and get things off, like
Speaker:in a fun way. So it's, I'm doing great. Thank you for having me.
Speaker:Yeah, I'm super excited to bring you here. I know that you have a
Speaker:really powerful message and story to share. And I'm really
Speaker:excited to dive into that. So let's just go ahead and get
Speaker:rolling with us. Can you tell us a little bit about you kind of
Speaker:your background, your history? Sure. How far back You want me
Speaker:to go, we can get back really far. But I'll tell you, what
Speaker:I'll do is I'll take you back. Because I think this is a sort
Speaker:of a cool story.
Speaker:There was a time before I got into entrepreneurship. It was
Speaker:right before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I was a
Speaker:personal trainer. And I was burnt out not happy. Not you
Speaker:know, just not fulfilled in any way really.
Speaker:And I reached a point where I was a little bit, you know,
Speaker:desperate not knowing what I wanted to do. I knew I loved
Speaker:working with people and helping them like change their lives
Speaker:when I'd see that change. But I there was something else going
Speaker:on. It just wasn't connecting, right. And I remember this day
Speaker:that I was out.
Speaker:I went for a ride. I went to see my friends and I'm coming back.
Speaker:And I lived down near the coast of South Carolina. So I'm
Speaker:blessed to have this beautiful island, Isle of Palms and
Speaker:Sullivan's Island, two islands, actually, with the beach right
Speaker:there. So I took the beach ride on the way back, just to soak in
Speaker:the air and enjoy the atmosphere. And as I turned back
Speaker:on to the mainland, I'm getting ready to cross while I was
Speaker:getting ready to cross the bridge onto the mainland. I
Speaker:started having this feeling like you know, I need to go back to
Speaker:there was a pub called done Levy's is I'm gonna get it done
Speaker:ladies and get a burger to eat. And it's I was a little weird
Speaker:back then. Because as a personal trainer, I always planned out my
Speaker:meal. So I'm like, No, I'm sitting there having this inner
Speaker:conversation, this little argument, like one side's going,
Speaker:No, you've got something at home. And the other side's like,
Speaker:No, you want to go back that was like No, go go home and just
Speaker:eat. There's no need to go spend money. And then finally I just
Speaker:pulled over, turned around, went back to get a burger. And when I
Speaker:went back to get this burger, I sit down at the bar. And there's
Speaker:like one other person there, this lady and she's sitting next
Speaker:to me. And I order my food and she just starts talking to me.
Speaker:And we're talking and she's like, Is everything okay with
Speaker:you? And she was just sort of, I guess I was putting off an
Speaker:energy that was there. And she told me she was like, just out
Speaker:of the blue. She's like, you need to go read this book. And
Speaker:she told me about this book called the way of the Peaceful
Speaker:Warrior by Dan Millman. And I was like, okay, and we had this
Speaker:long. I mean, we had this conversation and she was telling
Speaker:me she was like, the funny thing is
Speaker:I don't even know why I'm here today. So like, I just fed this
Speaker:feeling that I need to come here to eat, and get my food and take
Speaker:it home to my family. We've already got food at home, but I
Speaker:just called him and said, I'm coming here to get food, take it
Speaker:home. And she said, they've messed up my order. I should
Speaker:have been gone like 30 minutes ago, then you sat down. And I
Speaker:felt like I needed to tell you about this book. And so I was
Speaker:like, Okay, this is just a little bit crazy. So I left and
Speaker:went home immediately, I ordered the book, it was before amazon
Speaker:prime. So you didn't have like all these
Speaker:things. I think I ordered it from Barnes and Noble, because
Speaker:at the time I went to the store, they didn't have it. So I
Speaker:ordered it. And I read the book. And I don't know if you've read
Speaker:that before. It's a great book. But I read this book. And after
Speaker:reading the book, I started, a lot of it was teaching things
Speaker:like you know, mindfulness, and how just to calm myself down,
Speaker:calm my brain down. So I did that. During this period. I know
Speaker:the story's a little long, but during this period, after
Speaker:reading the book, I had this amazing dream one night that
Speaker:this guy who was one of my mentors, one of my friends, when
Speaker:I was growing up, consider him a friend. He was a lot older, but
Speaker:I used to go to his basketball camp. And his name was
Speaker:addictive. enzio he shows up in my dream, and it's a really
Speaker:intense dream. And I hadn't seen or talk to them probably in 15
Speaker:years. So I get up. The next day, I go online, look them up,
Speaker:try to figure out how to get out, see an email, or reach out
Speaker:via email. The next day, I get an email from his brother. He
Speaker:says that Dick was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Speaker:And they didn't expect him to live for like another week. He
Speaker:said, but I want to tell you something diff something even
Speaker:bigger than this. He's like the stranger. You are like the
Speaker:second either the second or third person that had reached
Speaker:out to them saying that dick had shown up in this dream. And it
Speaker:was such an intense dream that they felt like they needed to
Speaker:reach out. So come full story. First full circle, Dick passed
Speaker:away, I ended up going out and traveling that summer, leaving
Speaker:my job behind traveling that summer and teaching basketball
Speaker:camps with his brother, along with another guy who left his
Speaker:position as an attorney in his partnership, because he had a
Speaker:visit from dick as well. And we traveled the country.
Speaker:And when I came home from that, I was like a total different
Speaker:person. I was happy I felt healed. And from there, I moved
Speaker:forward. And I moved to where I live now and actually started on
Speaker:my entrepreneurial journey.
Speaker:Oh, talk about chronicity That's crazy. Yes, it was. During this
Speaker:time, were you like, before you met this woman? Were you going
Speaker:through something like,
Speaker:what's just my I mean, just, I was not happy I was, you know,
Speaker:in not a good position in life.
Speaker:I just come back from trying, I was actually left personal
Speaker:training to work another job, and ended up moving back to the
Speaker:city that I grew up. My father was there, my father was going
Speaker:through deep depression and all these things were happening. And
Speaker:he dealt with mental illness. And so I think a lot of that was
Speaker:pouring into my life too. So when I went back to the location
Speaker:where I was where I've met that lady, I mean, at that time, I
Speaker:was just sort of, I was not happy with life, you know, I was
Speaker:coming home from from work as a personal trainer everyday where
Speaker:I was the healthy guy. You know, helping people get healthy,
Speaker:helping them change their lives. And I would come home and I
Speaker:would fall asleep in my lazy boy every night. Like staring at TV
Speaker:with a glass of you know, liquor next to me. And just like
Speaker:drinking myself to sleep and eating horrible food. I'm like,
Speaker:What am I doing? I'm not, you know, my energy was so off.
Speaker:So yeah, it was just to me, it was something somebody was
Speaker:looking out for me somewhere and it pulled me in the right
Speaker:direction. And you know, that that dream with with Dick divins
Speaker:do and it was like one of the most amazing situations because
Speaker:the other guy that actually came and went on the camp with us
Speaker:that had also been visited in a dream. I mean, this was somebody
Speaker:who was very successful. He had argued cases in front of
Speaker:supreme, the Supreme Court. His his career was at his peak, and
Speaker:he left and walked away to go be a camp counselor at basketball
Speaker:coaches. I mean, at basketball camps, yeah, because he felt
Speaker:that, but he was miserable in his other job. And now he's
Speaker:still doing he does that to this day, and he's like happy and
Speaker:thriving and he's like this
Speaker:What I always wanted to do, but I never did it because nobody
Speaker:always did what I thought I should do. Right. And that was
Speaker:go to law school, go, you know, do the whole thing. And it was
Speaker:just an amazing journey. But it did. It took it brought me back
Speaker:to where I started serving others again, without, you know,
Speaker:there was no money involved. I was helping these kids, like,
Speaker:all summer long, it was very healing. And when I came back, I
Speaker:started looking at my life from a different perspective, like,
Speaker:Okay, what do I really want to do instead of what I should be
Speaker:doing? And I started learning about online marketing. And
Speaker:that's where I got into the world of online marketing for
Speaker:the first time. So that was like your big turning point in your
Speaker:life? Yeah, yeah. One of the one of them for sure.
Speaker:Yeah, that's crazy. And so when you first started into
Speaker:entrepreneurship, what were you What were you doing? You're
Speaker:doing marketing or well actually started by I came home, and I
Speaker:had no, I mean, this is, you know, we're talking about my
Speaker:first online business was 20 years ago. Okay. So I actually
Speaker:found it online. I went I remember there's a website, you
Speaker:can go to called like the Wayback Machine.
Speaker:Like way back WAY. Ba ck.org. I think it is. And you can type in
Speaker:and it takes has like screen grabs of everything that's
Speaker:happened online. So you know, if you're doing if you've done
Speaker:something online is probably out there. But I went after a recent
Speaker:podcast interview, I was like, I wonder if that's up there. And I
Speaker:found my original business that was online, this horrible
Speaker:website, and it just looks like it's all you know, it. It's so
Speaker:badly the coding is so old that it doesn't actually completely
Speaker:show up on the screen. But it's, it's there, but it was Yeah, it
Speaker:was 20 years ago, I started it was a website called Charleston,
Speaker:arts, etc. And basically, I was, I was, before Amazon was around,
Speaker:I was creating an e commerce store where I went, I had
Speaker:friends that were artists, who were people that did sweetgrass,
Speaker:baskets, crafts, people who I'd met through my personal
Speaker:training, and I decided I wanted to help them. And I knew how to
Speaker:get things online. And they did. And so I started selling their
Speaker:stuff through like an online portal. Yeah. That was my first
Speaker:venture into the online world. And I just sort of self taught
Speaker:myself from there to where I am now. Yes, I'm curious, how did
Speaker:that how did that develop into what you're doing now with
Speaker:infinite impact?
Speaker:Well, that was I mean, 100 180 degrees different than what I do
Speaker:now. But it all the one common thread through everything that
Speaker:I've done, from offline to online, has been serving others.
Speaker:You know, when I serve others, I feel like I'm at.
Speaker:Like, whenever I get off of like, a quick coaching call or
Speaker:something, I'm just like, inspired and fired up, you know,
Speaker:it's like, sitting here writing an article working on, you know,
Speaker:a sales funnel a marketing message, that's a necessity, but
Speaker:it's not what lights me up. So it's always everything I've
Speaker:done, there's been that common thread, where I've helped serve
Speaker:others, whether it's serving others by, you know, helping
Speaker:them write their content, which I used to do a lot of content
Speaker:marketing and copywriting back in the day.
Speaker:And now, you know, I've moved into more of a coaching
Speaker:consulting role, because I've done almost all of the things
Speaker:that you need to do to run an online business through the
Speaker:years I've learned, and I've figured them out. I'm not
Speaker:perfect at them. I still have a lot of learning. But um, yeah,
Speaker:so I've gotten more into the coaching consulting role at this
Speaker:point. Yeah, my, one of my personal beliefs is that in
Speaker:order to be both fulfilled and successful, you have to be doing
Speaker:something that is contributing towards other people's lives,
Speaker:and you're helping other people. I believe that's, you know, why
Speaker:we're here is to help lift each other up. It is and I mean, that
Speaker:and you asked me, that made me that reminded me there was
Speaker:another impactful thing that happened. This was two years
Speaker:ago, the first time I went to funnel hacking live, which is a
Speaker:big marketing event that Click Funnels for people that don't
Speaker:know. And
Speaker:I was there with my business partner for my last business.
Speaker:And, you know, I was fulfilled in that job as well. We I was
Speaker:working with somebody who I consider a mentor and a friend.
Speaker:But it was his vision and his thing you know, I was serving
Speaker:him to help him serve his mission. Right, and I go to this
Speaker:event.
Speaker:While I'm sitting there, I'm watching these entrepreneurs,
Speaker:and I had no idea what to expect. I'm thinking, it's an
Speaker:internet marketing thing, people are going to be up there, it's
Speaker:gonna be like sort of techie and this and that. And instead,
Speaker:like, the first couple of speakers were these amazing
Speaker:women that came on stage. And they started talking about their
Speaker:tribes that they built in the impact that they were making.
Speaker:And they were sharing stories. And they were almost coming to
Speaker:tears with the stories of transformation that they were
Speaker:getting in these people by, you know, with their products and
Speaker:services. So they were making money. So the focus, the money
Speaker:part was not lost. That was, you know, that was still there. But
Speaker:the impact and like every person that came on stage that weekend,
Speaker:it was like, I got chills constantly. I could feel my
Speaker:goosebumps. And
Speaker:it was there that I first had like the next sort of tap on my
Speaker:shoulder that was like, Okay, it's time for you to sort of
Speaker:step out from behind the curtain. You know, you've been
Speaker:helping, you've been serving others, but you can go out and
Speaker:take it a step farther, go bigger, and serve more people.
Speaker:So I waited, I'd already committed to my business partner
Speaker:to help him grow that business. So I stuck with it for that
Speaker:year, we kept grinding and doing well, we took it from zero to
Speaker:half a million dollars in 12 months. And, you know, I get
Speaker:profit sharing, I had equity in the company. And I walked away
Speaker:from all of it. Because I was like, I had that tap on the
Speaker:shoulder that weekend. And I just told I had to sit down and
Speaker:have this hard conversation with him, which he made very easy.
Speaker:But I was like, I just I feel this need to go out and impact
Speaker:other people's lives. I don't know how yet. I don't know what
Speaker:the mission is. But it's not where I am now. Because I'm just
Speaker:the guy behind the computer, figuring out things and not
Speaker:going out and really, you know, getting that one on one or
Speaker:getting to impact other people. So that was the next sort of act
Speaker:in my life. So I don't know what act that is like act 24. I mean,
Speaker:we go through a lot of different that's the way I read it the
Speaker:other day, I was like this is life is a lot like a play,
Speaker:there's a lot of different acts in our lives.
Speaker:This is one of my favorite parts about your story, actually,
Speaker:because you were in a very successful, you know, position
Speaker:with that business. And you made the decision to walk away from
Speaker:that. And, and to me, like, that's very impactful, because a
Speaker:lot of times, there's so much fear behind that and people will
Speaker:stay stuck in positions. That's not a bad position. It's not
Speaker:like you hated it. But it wasn't your full potential of what
Speaker:you're truly here to do. And so I'm curious, like, how was that?
Speaker:Like? How did that feel? Was there a lot of fear? or How was
Speaker:that transition? I know, you have a family and everything
Speaker:like that, like was that difficult? Well, yeah, I mean,
Speaker:first difficult step was I had a family through the business.
Speaker:Because we, we had gone from myself a VA, and pat my business
Speaker:partner to grow in an actual team. And within that team, we
Speaker:had, you know, one guy who I still communicate with and he
Speaker:had, he was able to buy, buy his wife and family a new home,
Speaker:because they were getting ready to have their first child. So
Speaker:they needed to have a bigger house, able to buy a house keep
Speaker:the other one is a rental investment for their future. We
Speaker:had another guy who him and his wife were living in a part of
Speaker:the neighborhood where they didn't feel that safe in this
Speaker:one neighborhood and they were able to move to another place.
Speaker:And I'm thinking, Okay, this is really awesome. But it also made
Speaker:me fearful that if I left that the business would collapse,
Speaker:because I was sort of the guy that not I'm not trying to this
Speaker:egos. I'm not speaking from ego but more from I was integral in
Speaker:setting up every system. And my problem all along was I didn't
Speaker:have enough trust in everybody. You know, I think that was one
Speaker:of my issues.
Speaker:And I should have known better because they were all great
Speaker:people. And they did we're able to continue it. But I was I was
Speaker:scared about I was fearful of that. I was fearful of letting
Speaker:people down them down first because I hadn't really thought
Speaker:out the money issue yet.
Speaker:Then I was sort of, you know, like, how am I going to have
Speaker:this conversation with Pat. Because, you know, we had gone
Speaker:from me just being a contractor working with him to being a
Speaker:business partner to be in a friend. Yeah. And I was like,
Speaker:how is this gonna happen? And I actually just got off another
Speaker:interview. He was like, how was that conversation? I was like
Speaker:which conversation you mean the one I had two weeks
Speaker:In my head, before I ever had the actual one or the actual
Speaker:conversation, because for about two weeks, when I knew I was
Speaker:gonna have it, it was like, every day, I'm having these,
Speaker:like, pretend conversations that are never gonna, you know, they
Speaker:never existed in the real world.
Speaker:But then when I went to meet with him, I mean, I remember it,
Speaker:like, you know, I can still visualize the situation because
Speaker:it was downtown, in the Starbucks, and we live in a
Speaker:college town and a busy little downtown, people are coming and
Speaker:going, it was like nine o'clock in the morning. So a lot of
Speaker:people are going on their way to work, school kids are coming in
Speaker:at college kids. And it was almost like, there was this zone
Speaker:where it was just, I was sitting there, and it was all this noise
Speaker:going on. But I wasn't even processing it. Because I was so
Speaker:stressed out about the conversation I had to have. And
Speaker:then when I told him that I've made the decision, he just
Speaker:looked at me, he's like, how can I help? And I was like, Holy
Speaker:mackerel, I mean, I felt like my body just almost felt like it
Speaker:went limp, because I had been so tense for two weeks.
Speaker:And I should have known it would be like that, because that's the
Speaker:kind of person he is. So that part was over worth. And then I
Speaker:still hadn't really planned out, I don't think I was even worried
Speaker:about the future. Because I felt like it was such a right
Speaker:decision
Speaker:that I didn't really worry about the money, you know, how is it
Speaker:gonna? How is gonna do anything what I was gonna do, and I
Speaker:actually spent about the first six months not really focused on
Speaker:what I was going to do. But by first making myself better by
Speaker:transforming myself. Because I knew I was scared, the biggest
Speaker:thing I was scared of is if I take the first opportunity, that
Speaker:it's going to take me down the wrong path again, that I have to
Speaker:be clear on myself, you know, at peace with myself know myself to
Speaker:know what I want to do.
Speaker:So, so that was like the first six months just sort of getting
Speaker:clear on that. And to be honest, I mean, I still have times where
Speaker:I get stressed, because the money isn't where was before
Speaker:yet. It's coming. But not yet. But I still wake up. But I tell
Speaker:myself that I wake up and I have you know, I have a gratitude
Speaker:practice every morning. So that helps get me in the right
Speaker:vibration in the right mindset. So I don't really worry about it
Speaker:like today, I had this thing come to me this morning. It was
Speaker:like, you know, just go into your day, be totally effortless
Speaker:in your day and live in the present moment. And it's like
Speaker:little things like that, if I remember that, to get in tune
Speaker:with that first thing in the morning when I wake up like I
Speaker:woke up today, and today has been totally effortless. I told
Speaker:myself this morning, it would be and it hasn't been.
Speaker:So that's a long, long answer to your question. Yeah, so you
Speaker:brought up a couple of things in here. You know, one is a tuning
Speaker:your vibrations and things of that nature. Have you always
Speaker:kind of had this view of the world? Or is that something that
Speaker:has developed over time? It's been no, it hasn't. But you
Speaker:know, it's funny, as I look back, and
Speaker:I see a lot of it's like a cycle. Yeah. Because when I had
Speaker:that time back when I, when I met that person in the bar, the
Speaker:lady and she told me about the book, I really got deep into a
Speaker:lot of,
Speaker:you know, more metaphysical spiritual things where I was
Speaker:reading a lot of like Wayne Dyer books, I was, you know, just
Speaker:looking into reading books on Buddhism, and doing things like
Speaker:that. And I actually, it's funny, because I was reading a
Speaker:book recently, that was discussing how, you know, we
Speaker:that the universe is within us, and we are within, we're all
Speaker:just one part of the universe. So it's really basically all
Speaker:within us. And I just thought about that. I was like, holy
Speaker:crap, I was like, you know, I've got I've got a few tattoos,
Speaker:which you can't see. But one of my tattoos that I got, probably
Speaker:15 years ago, when this was all sort of when that cycle was
Speaker:happening was I got a tattoo of like the universe, I went and
Speaker:told my tattoo artists that I wanted it to look like my skin,
Speaker:like you could pull my skin apart on my shoulder, and the
Speaker:universe would be coming out of it. And then I read this in a
Speaker:book just the other day, and it sent me back in time. And I was
Speaker:like, I was actually in tune with a lot of the things that
Speaker:I'm in tune with now, more purposefully now, but they were
Speaker:there then and I just wasn't ready for that knowledge yet,
Speaker:but it was there. You know, so
Speaker:I mean, it's it's really amazing. It's like you know it
Speaker:because I had a discussion with the guy yesterday and he was
Speaker:talking about how 20 years ago he
Speaker:He wrote in his journal that he wanted to, he always wrote
Speaker:things like goals. And then he said, but also write big goals
Speaker:like magic goals, things that just seem unattainable. But he
Speaker:said, you have to put those in your journal. And he, he wrote
Speaker:down something about changing the way that the education
Speaker:system works for our younger children as they come up through
Speaker:school. And 20 years later, he is now filming, he all that was
Speaker:sort of put out of his mind, then he had a health scare,
Speaker:something happened, he ended up writing a book with all these
Speaker:things in it to his son, because he was like, laid on the floor
Speaker:thinking I was gonna die. And my son would never know these
Speaker:things. So he wrote them out, then now in throughout this,
Speaker:though, but he's working with like the University of North
Speaker:Florida, to work on bringing in things like meditation and
Speaker:different teachings like that for kids in the educational
Speaker:system. And he just happened to open this journal up. And look
Speaker:20 years ago to like, almost the date. He had written then that
Speaker:he wanted to do that he was like, sort of planted the seed.
Speaker:And for 20 years that seeds been growing, and it just now came
Speaker:out.
Speaker:So yeah, so it's just amazing how those things happen. I love
Speaker:that and, and you guys, I just want you to take note of
Speaker:something that he said here, the seed was planted, and then he
Speaker:left it alone. He didn't obsess over it, he didn't stress about
Speaker:it. He just did it out of, you know, an intuition. Something
Speaker:made him have that feeling that he wanted to do that he wrote it
Speaker:down. And then he kind of forgot about it. And then it happened.
Speaker:And this is something that I've noticed so much in my life as
Speaker:well with my manifestations is when I set the intention, and
Speaker:then I release it and I just I just have a faith and a trust
Speaker:and I just forget about it, then it happens. But if I write down
Speaker:an intention, and then every day, I'm like, okay, when's it
Speaker:gonna happen? When's it gonna happen? Then it doesn't happen,
Speaker:because that obsession is a resistance against it that's
Speaker:coming from a place of fear that it's not ever going to happen.
Speaker:Yeah, I never thought of it that way. That's true. That's
Speaker:definitely true. And he did. And he is like, I, I have not
Speaker:thought about this for you know, he started, he had a family, he
Speaker:had to go out. And he started his career as a landscape
Speaker:architect, and designer, and went about his business all
Speaker:these years until that health scare happened. And it almost
Speaker:triggered him and pushed him into this new path. And he's
Speaker:like, ever since he, he told it was an amazing story said ever
Speaker:since he.
Speaker:He started, like, he had that health issue. And then they
Speaker:started like, doing these things that he had talked about 20
Speaker:years ago. All these coincidences are coming in play.
Speaker:Like he randomly met this person who just showed up one day, I
Speaker:can't remember he told me the story. But the guy used to work
Speaker:at Nickelodeon, as an he was an illustrator. So he just randomly
Speaker:showed up out of the blue had moved from Long Island, or Long
Speaker:Beach, California, all the way to Florida, Jacksonville,
Speaker:Jacksonville Beach, Florida on the east coast. For some reason,
Speaker:that seemed very random. And then he shows up meets this guy.
Speaker:And now he illustrated all the pictures in the guy's book.
Speaker:So he has like, you know, all these things are happening now.
Speaker:And it's all almost because of the seed I planted 20 years ago.
Speaker:Yes, it is. Man. I don't I don't believe in coincidences.
Speaker:Personally, I believe everything is happening for a reason, even
Speaker:if we can't, you know, even if we can't see what it is every
Speaker:step. I mean, I'm sure you feel this in your journey as well
Speaker:every step that you have taken in your life. You had to have
Speaker:taken you had to have gone through that business with your
Speaker:friend, you had to have gone through all of those experiences
Speaker:to get to that point that you are now. Yeah, it's true. I
Speaker:mean, and
Speaker:I think now I'm like, why did I wait all this time to start
Speaker:doing what I'm doing? Well, I wouldn't have been ready. I
Speaker:mean, I just would not have been ready it's just like some people
Speaker:are like why did you wait to have a child when you were the
Speaker:age because I was 44 when I had my daughter and it's like I
Speaker:don't know I just never really thought about it before First of
Speaker:all, but I would have never but when I look back on my life pre
Speaker:that time I would have been the absolute worst. You know, parent
Speaker:who knows I might have changed you know, you can always say
Speaker:that but at the time I was not ready. My life was not ready my
Speaker:journey. It was not time and yes, I
Speaker:I think that, that I think what you said is true. And it's
Speaker:something that I try to focus on a lot too is not to. It's funny
Speaker:because I had I went to a float tank, my daughter got me this
Speaker:like gift certificate to a float tank. And I went and they have
Speaker:these stickers and they say do more nothing. And the funny
Speaker:thing is, is that, you know, I look at that. And, you know,
Speaker:obviously, you could look at it they Oh, what are you just
Speaker:laying around being lazy at the spa? I'm like, No, I don't think
Speaker:they mean that. I think they mean it in the way that you
Speaker:know, like, what you're just saying do more nothing. Don't
Speaker:don't expect it. Just put it out there. Let it happen, you know,
Speaker:go down the river, not up the river. So yeah, it's, I think
Speaker:the journey that I think going back to your question, the
Speaker:journey, we have to just be patient and trust, because
Speaker:you'll be in the right place at the right time.
Speaker:So another thing that I know is really important to you. And
Speaker:something that you help people with, is stepping into their
Speaker:authenticity and being their true self. I'm curious, you
Speaker:know, these days in this community, I make fun of myself
Speaker:for it all the time. But authenticity is definitely kind
Speaker:of like a buzzword. So I'm curious, like, what does that
Speaker:what does that mean to you? And what are some things that you do
Speaker:personally, to make sure that you are living in your truth,
Speaker:and you are living in your personal authenticity? Yeah, I
Speaker:think, Well, you know, it's funny, because one of the
Speaker:reasons that it took me as long as it did to get to this point
Speaker:now, where I'm putting something out, that the I'm getting ready
Speaker:to launch something new and the new year and the reason it took
Speaker:me so long that I look back now I'm like, I wasn't ready, I
Speaker:wasn't in my authentic self yet. And I had to go everything that
Speaker:I'm getting ready to teach is what I learned and a lot of it
Speaker:over the last year.
Speaker:You know, a lot what I did, like I was explaining the first six
Speaker:months or so it was working on myself. I got up every morning
Speaker:and I started putting together a morning routine that consisted
Speaker:of meditating.
Speaker:You know, well, first, I'll go through the way I do it, the way
Speaker:I do it is drink like 36 or 40 something ounces of water, right
Speaker:out the gate? Well, first First things first, I don't check my
Speaker:emails or anything at all that stays notifications are off,
Speaker:everything's off, get up, drink my water.
Speaker:Go outside, usually to have like a cup of coffee, but I'll
Speaker:meditate. I'll have coffee, I'll read something. I don't read
Speaker:anything like a business book or read like something spiritual.
Speaker:I'll listen to the spent, like a longtime listening to the Dalai
Speaker:Lama would watch his his videos, because there's just something
Speaker:about him when I like see him. I just feel happy. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker:he's like, you just feel his glow, his happiness, his love
Speaker:that just sort of comes off of him. So I would watch, like some
Speaker:of his videos of him talking. And that would be my morning
Speaker:routine. And then while I wrap it up outside, I do gratitude
Speaker:because I have a friend who created a gratitude app. So I
Speaker:would actually write down five things, I would use my phone for
Speaker:meditating for gratitude, but none of the email and Facebook
Speaker:stuff, then I would exercise and have a green drink. So that was
Speaker:my morning routine. And I set aside that time to have no
Speaker:interruptions. I mean, I even I would go outside and do it. So I
Speaker:didn't, you know, wouldn't be involved with my family. Not
Speaker:that I don't love my family, but wife and child. But it was like,
Speaker:I need to go out here and have this time for me to set my
Speaker:intention for the day to get myself, you know, to that better
Speaker:vibrational level. And I really focused on that. And I got to
Speaker:know myself in that time. And that's how I say, you know, you
Speaker:have to when I talk about authentic self and my, a lot of
Speaker:people talk about, oh, you know, I practice, I'm working on my
Speaker:mindset. It's like, Well, you know, just sitting down and like
Speaker:reading something or meditating isn't just necessarily, it's
Speaker:great, that's good. But to get to your authentic self, you have
Speaker:to like start going in and looking at things. And looking
Speaker:at yourself not judging, give yourself grace, but look at
Speaker:yourself and be like, and forgive yourself. One that's
Speaker:like one of the biggest things. Forgive yourself for the way you
Speaker:the things you've done that you're not happy with. But don't
Speaker:hold it against yourself, let it go. But you have to go into that
Speaker:discomfort zone. I think a lot of entrepreneurs it's like the
Speaker:buzzword is mindset, man. You have to have the right mindset.
Speaker:It's like, well, the right mindset isn't just like
Speaker:thinking, Okay, I've got to hustle. 24 seven or the right
Speaker:mindset is I've got to meditate like once every two months, you
Speaker:know, the right being authentic means actually getting to know
Speaker:yourself on a level that's like uncomfortable, you know, and
Speaker:then just become an actual
Speaker:be worth it and liking yourself. Yeah. And I just want to touch
Speaker:on one of the things that you said is you said, you know, you
Speaker:take that time for the morning without your family. And you
Speaker:said, you know, obviously, I love them. But one, one thing I
Speaker:want to point out is by you doing that, that's actually
Speaker:showing a massive amount of love to your family. Because how are
Speaker:you supposed to show up for your wife and your daughter, when
Speaker:you're not in the right mental space? To do that, you know, so
Speaker:you taking that time alone by yourself to get centered and to
Speaker:get in the right space is actually showing a massive
Speaker:amount of love towards them, so that you can show up for them in
Speaker:the best way possible. I mean, that's why I wake up, you know,
Speaker:I do the same thing. If I don't wake up, you know, at my
Speaker:scheduled time to wake up so I can have two hours in the
Speaker:morning alone before I have to wake my daughter up for school.
Speaker:I'm not a good mom, like I'm, I'm more reactive, and I'm not
Speaker:as patient. And so like, that's crucial for me to be able to
Speaker:show up and to love her. So I just want to point that out.
Speaker:Because I want you to make sure that you know, you know, yeah,
Speaker:that's
Speaker:Yeah, I agree with you. 100%. And, um, you know, it's funny,
Speaker:because my daughter, it's like, she knows, it's like, I'm not I
Speaker:don't snap at her anymore. I don't get angry anymore. I mean,
Speaker:yeah, sure, I get disappointed and things that happen. But I'm
Speaker:not like that angry. Father. And you know, that's not like,
Speaker:that's not me. Anyway, I'm not like an angry person. But it
Speaker:was, you know, stress levels so high and always working and
Speaker:never taken the time to decompress and take that time
Speaker:for ourselves for self care.
Speaker:It just put me in a bad place to where I was not. In my I mean,
Speaker:my biggest goal, through all of this was to be a good father
Speaker:first, you know, to my daughter, because I didn't have the best
Speaker:father. You know, one thing that I don't tell a lot of people,
Speaker:I'll tell everybody on here is that one of the things that
Speaker:happened when I came back through that cycle of you know,
Speaker:going off to the camps after I got the book and the dream and
Speaker:everything, and I came back, I spent like a week with my
Speaker:parents. And my dad was like, really like having struggles
Speaker:then mentally ill. And at one point, I woke up one morning,
Speaker:like, do this blood curdling scream. And my father, like hid,
Speaker:was threatening was trying to kill my mother. And was it gonna
Speaker:kill her with a hammer and then was gonna kill me and kill the
Speaker:cat. He had it all planned out. And it was all from his mental,
Speaker:you know, problems. But, um, so that was a big thing for me was
Speaker:like, Okay, one thing about that you can look at it in a way
Speaker:like, Oh, my gosh, that's horrible in this and then, you
Speaker:know, then he, he went on and passed away and died and sort of
Speaker:disconnected from the rest of us. But it brought me and my mom
Speaker:to a place that we had never been before really connected. I
Speaker:mean, so can I've got a tattoo of her on my portrait on my arm.
Speaker:And people always say, Oh, that's so nice. And I'm like,
Speaker:She's not dead. It's okay. You can talk about her. She's still
Speaker:alive. I just did it for her to it. Because what good is it
Speaker:after the fact you know, it makes you can't see it, then?
Speaker:Well, she might be able to but
Speaker:but it you know, you could look at that part of my life as being
Speaker:something that was just a horrible thing that happened to
Speaker:me, but I look at it as almost a gift because it brought me and
Speaker:my mother together. And it also, it almost flipped a switch in me
Speaker:to where I went from being almost this person that wasn't
Speaker:living responsibly, what and, you know, just to a totally
Speaker:different person. And it also helped me once I became a
Speaker:father, to say, Okay, this is the one thing I can say for him
Speaker:as it you know, and it's sort of funny, because he was a good
Speaker:father and a lot of ways but very emotionally unattached. And
Speaker:then all that stuff that happened was all mental illness.
Speaker:You know, it wasn't him as a person. But, you know, it sort
Speaker:of laid the groundwork for me to sort of look at him and say,
Speaker:Okay, I'm not going to be that way. I'm not going to be the guy
Speaker:that works all the time, who comes home and is totally
Speaker:mentally detached, emotionally detached. I've got to be there
Speaker:for my daughter. So a lot of that self work was necessary to
Speaker:get to my authentic self so I could bring myself back because
Speaker:I had sort of, you know, while I was enjoying work and doing that
Speaker:work, it was pulling me away from the Father I want it to be
Speaker:and taking me away from my authentic self.
Speaker:Yeah, wow.
Speaker:I mean, listening to that it kind of blows my mind because I
Speaker:had my story is very similar with that. And you know, I grew
Speaker:up with a dad who's very smart. And you know, a good father, you
Speaker:know, quote unquote, a good father, but again, has some
Speaker:stuff going on that makes it so that he can't connect on an
Speaker:emotional level and drinking problems and all that good
Speaker:stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I came from it, you know, I grew
Speaker:up, I didn't need anything I didn't want for anything. So I
Speaker:mean, a lot of ways he provided. But and then I also have to look
Speaker:at where he came from the situation that he came from, was
Speaker:really bad. So I, you know, at one point this year, actually, I
Speaker:finally, during this six months of contemplation and getting to
Speaker:my authentic self, actually, and I heard Russell Brunson say this
Speaker:of all that all things you ever hear like a marketing guru? say
Speaker:he was talking about forgiveness.
Speaker:And the one thing you have to do if you're going to be successful
Speaker:in life, or in business does you have to learn to forgive. And he
Speaker:was talking about so I mean, I actually went out and I didn't
Speaker:force myself, but actually, for the first time ever, sat
Speaker:meditated on it, let it sort of my mind get quiet, and then
Speaker:tried to focus on him as much as possible and did forgave them.
Speaker:And then then I made the realization that Wait a minute,
Speaker:you said, forgiven the most important person and that's
Speaker:yourself. Then I had to forgive myself. And then once I did
Speaker:that, everything was great.
Speaker:The thing was forgiveness, at least what I've noticed is, it's
Speaker:a process like, it takes some time, you will do some you'll do
Speaker:something, you'll feel like, Okay, this is great. Things will
Speaker:start rolling in a positive direction, and then something
Speaker:might come up again later, and you're like, Oh, wait, I haven't
Speaker:totally dove all the way in yet.
Speaker:Kinda like chipping away at it as, as it comes. At least I
Speaker:don't know if that's something you've noticed in your life, but
Speaker:it's definitely it's probably, yeah, it's I thought it was
Speaker:funny. It's funny, you bring that up, and you're spot on,
Speaker:because I remember when I did it, it's like, okay, that's
Speaker:done. That's like, celebrating Oh, and I have to worry about
Speaker:that again. And then all of a sudden, you're right. I mean,
Speaker:like things would, like, you know, maybe it's the time of
Speaker:year maybe it's like something that your family used to do
Speaker:together. Maybe it's you know, something that reminds you of
Speaker:something, it's like all the sudden then it comes back you're
Speaker:like, Okay, you can feel that little bit of constraint and
Speaker:stress. And then you're like, Okay, maybe I do need to keep
Speaker:working on this. So yeah, unfortunately, it's not just a
Speaker:pill you can take once I don't think he done with it. I wish it
Speaker:I wish. Yeah, no, I recently actually had to deal with that
Speaker:as well. Because I've done a lot of work, um, you know, forgiving
Speaker:my family for everything during my childhood and just realizing
Speaker:what got them to that point to be in that space and and how it
Speaker:wasn't, you know, nothing was personal. It wasn't against me.
Speaker:But my I had my family here for Thanksgiving. And I felt
Speaker:something starting to come up again. And I realize, okay,
Speaker:there's still there's still more work to do. There's still more
Speaker:we got to do here. That's a big step, though. To actually have
Speaker:them there. I guess then. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you.
Speaker:Um, so, how, like, so you do coaching. So I'm curious, how
Speaker:has mentorship played a role in your life? Do you have people
Speaker:that you are kind of lean on that you look up to and that
Speaker:way? I do, actually, um, I've Well, for one, my business
Speaker:partner, Pat, you know, we still go to lunch, at least once a
Speaker:month.
Speaker:And, you know, he I consider him a mentor, even though he may not
Speaker:really think of himself as a mentor. It's almost like
Speaker:mentorship by example.
Speaker:Because he is just such a, you know, a good person and I, you
Speaker:know, I see a lot on him what I want to make sure I am BM is
Speaker:very family first, you know, always giving, always serving no
Speaker:expectation. And we're talking about somebody who's
Speaker:if you saw him, you know, you'd see me looks like me doesn't
Speaker:have hair, but he's always like, he's always got like, you know,
Speaker:cargo pants and a T shirt and flip flops, he's going to yoga.
Speaker:And you know, just and the guy is I don't I don't know how much
Speaker:money he has, but he's got a lot, a lot of money. He's very
Speaker:wealthy, but his wealth comes more from his being the way he
Speaker:is then the actual money in his bank account. And it was just
Speaker:surprising to me actually, because I went and I've
Speaker:researched him first before I started working with
Speaker:Just to see like all this stuff out there, like, Oh my gosh,
Speaker:this guy's got, he sold over a billion dollars worth of real
Speaker:estate. He was the number one real estate agent for Keller
Speaker:Williams and REMAX both in the entire world. He retired when he
Speaker:was 46 years old. He's got like, 100 different streams of income
Speaker:coming in, and I'm thinking, Okay, who's this person I'm
Speaker:gonna meet? Am I gonna like this person? Because I started having
Speaker:all these feelings of like, you know, is he gonna be somebody
Speaker:who reminds me of my past, and I'm not gonna really enjoy this.
Speaker:And then I went and met him. And I was just like, wow, this guy
Speaker:is just so authentic and just giving and serving and caring
Speaker:and, you know, compassionate. And so I would consider him a
Speaker:mentor, definitely. And then, um, as far as other people I've
Speaker:learned from who I'm in a coaching program and Russell
Speaker:Bronson's coaching program. And some of these, my coaches, I
Speaker:don't know them as personally, as I do with Pat, so I wouldn't
Speaker:maybe consider them a personal mentor. But they like Russell
Speaker:Brunson himself one of the most authentic, caring nice guys out
Speaker:there. He's just somebody's family first. So I look at him.
Speaker:And I think that's why I'm so connected with that tribe,
Speaker:because I connected with him. And like I said, when I went to
Speaker:funnel hacking live, and I just felt that the, it was an
Speaker:entrepreneurship event. But it was not about money, it was
Speaker:about serving and contributing in impact. And I just fed off of
Speaker:that. So I would consider all you know, my coaches that are in
Speaker:that program definitely is coaches slash mentors, as well.
Speaker:But, um, but yeah, so I think it's important to have that, and
Speaker:I'll tell you what else is really important. For everybody
Speaker:that's watching this as an entrepreneur. It's a lonely,
Speaker:lonely job. It's a lonely, you know, profession, you know, we
Speaker:can sit here You and I, this is great when you connect. That's
Speaker:one reason that's great about having a podcast is you can
Speaker:connect. But you know, I spent so much time before I
Speaker:relaunched, but will before I launched my podcasts that I have
Speaker:now, because before I was just the strategy guy, I was the
Speaker:marketing guy behind the scenes. But I spent all that time and
Speaker:you're sort of in a, you know, a vacuum, you know, you're behind
Speaker:your computer, you're not communicating. Generally, like
Speaker:my friends that I grew up with, they don't understand this whole
Speaker:sort of world that I'm in now, because they're not doing it.
Speaker:And you can get it can get lonely. So the people that are
Speaker:in this coaching group with me, once you get into that tribe,
Speaker:and you connect with the right ones, it really is good to have
Speaker:that support group. And the thing is, is that I think Well,
Speaker:I know that once you get in a group and are surrounded with
Speaker:that supportive, non judgmental community of people going
Speaker:through the same journey you're going through, that will
Speaker:actually help you rise to your authentic self even farther than
Speaker:you thought you would, when you're doing it alone. So I
Speaker:think that's just as important as mentorship is having, you
Speaker:know, those, you know, brothers and sisters, that you've met
Speaker:this, going through this stuff with you that you can talk, like
Speaker:this morning, I have a, I have a friend that we get on the call
Speaker:every Wednesday morning, and at first there was a purpose behind
Speaker:it, you know, we were putting something together, we actually
Speaker:did podcast episodes together where we would, we would read a
Speaker:chapter in a book, not talk about it together, then jump on,
Speaker:set a timer for 10 minutes and just go at it, like what we got
Speaker:out of the chapter, and he would talk about it. And so it was
Speaker:cool to get the different perspective. But we found
Speaker:ourselves slowly like, Okay, this isn't really going
Speaker:anywhere. Business wise, so we just kept the calls going. And
Speaker:now it's just like, Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to,
Speaker:you know, what can I help you with? And, you know, we just
Speaker:talk to each other, because he knows what I'm going through.
Speaker:And I know what he's going through. So I think that
Speaker:connection is very, very important for entrepreneurs that
Speaker:are listening to this because it can get lonely if you don't have
Speaker:that, you know? Yeah, it really I mean, it really becomes like a
Speaker:segment family, at least through the different mentorship and
Speaker:coaching like group programs that I have been in. The people
Speaker:that I have met through those groups have become like you
Speaker:said, you know, my brothers and sisters like they are my family.
Speaker:They understand what I'm going through. It is very hard, it's
Speaker:very, it can be very long, especially when you're in that
Speaker:initial stage of leaving behind everything, all the conventional
Speaker:of what you have.
Speaker:Thought about the world and what you have thought you were
Speaker:capable of, and you're trying to break through into this new
Speaker:chapter, you kind of have to
Speaker:disconnect from anything that's not serving you at that moment.
Speaker:And sometimes people don't take that very well. Right.
Speaker:And it's and if you don't, I mean, if you, if they don't
Speaker:understand what you're going through, it's hard for them to
Speaker:empathize with you.
Speaker:So you need you need the people that know what you're going
Speaker:through, you know, that are going through that same journey
Speaker:people to celebrate victories with you. Which is another thing
Speaker:I would say is if you get if you're like me, whoever's
Speaker:listening to us, as entrepreneurs, you need to learn
Speaker:to celebrate the smallest victories remind yourself, you
Speaker:know, like, yesterday, last night, I didn't want to do it, I
Speaker:was tired. But I knew I needed to get this podcast episode,
Speaker:finished and ready to publish on Thursday. And I did it. And I
Speaker:went to bed. And I was like, Okay, I'm actually sort of proud
Speaker:of myself, because I, you know, I was like, I was about ready to
Speaker:just close my computer and stop. And I was like, that's not a big
Speaker:deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's like, you know,
Speaker:you have to remember to celebrate those victories. And
Speaker:like that one thing I learned the morning I had, I keep a
Speaker:whiteboard over here. And I'm my morning routine. Actually, I
Speaker:used to just get up and do the morning routine. But then I
Speaker:started writing down by everything I do in the morning.
Speaker:So I had like an A meditate, gratitude, hydrate, exercise.
Speaker:And after I did each one, I got my little
Speaker:What do you call it a little marker. And I checked, put a
Speaker:green checkmark next to it.
Speaker:I'm like, why am I why is that such a big deal. I do them every
Speaker:morning. But you know what, sometimes you get so caught up,
Speaker:in like, all of a sudden, when you do pick up your phone and
Speaker:you do start answering messages, you do get caught up into that
Speaker:reactive world, that sometimes you can get carried away and you
Speaker:feel like I didn't accomplish anything today, you can look
Speaker:over and go, Oh, I got checkmarks next to all of my
Speaker:morning routines. So that's a victory. You know, I love that
Speaker:sometimes I do the same, I get the same thing, I do the same
Speaker:exact thing. Sometimes even if I'm having kind of like a little
Speaker:bit more of a down day, I'm not feeling very good about myself,
Speaker:I will make a list of all of the things that I've already done,
Speaker:whether that be like make my bed, I fed my child breakfast,
Speaker:like it could be like the most mundane, simple thing. And I
Speaker:will write it all down. And I will put a green check mark next
Speaker:to it just the same as what you're saying. Because it
Speaker:triggers me to be like, Oh, look, I have accomplished things
Speaker:like, exactly. Maybe I haven't, you know, done a TED talk today.
Speaker:But I've done all of these things. Yeah, that's like the,
Speaker:you know, it's funny, because Carla, the lady that created
Speaker:that gratitude app, she talks about, you know, gratitude, and
Speaker:a lot of people she's like, the thing that people get wrong
Speaker:about gratitude is they feel like it has to be some grand,
Speaker:amazing things. She's like, just get up and you know, it could be
Speaker:like, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm grateful for the fact that, you
Speaker:know, call Chris morning, or I'm grateful for the fact that, you
Speaker:know, I got up and I had the coffee tasted good. She's like,
Speaker:just it's the act of actually just doing it. So even though,
Speaker:you know, we may think it's inconsequential to put a
Speaker:checkmark next to Oh, I drink my water this morning. It's still,
Speaker:it's something to celebrate. It's something that puts you in
Speaker:that higher frequency where you're you're accomplishing
Speaker:something, because a lot of times you'll feel like you might
Speaker:get to the end of the day, and just like, Oh, I didn't get
Speaker:anything done today. And you have to have those small
Speaker:victories to feel better about your day.
Speaker:I completely agree. And oh, my goodness, like we could talk for
Speaker:hours. This is the same thing that happened when I was on your
Speaker:podcast, right?
Speaker:Um, but I do like to keep these I try to keep them at least
Speaker:under an hour. So if there's like a final thought that you
Speaker:would like to leave with people today, what what would that be?
Speaker:Well, I like to always get back to, you know, well, a couple
Speaker:things. But, you know, being focused on your authentic self,
Speaker:don't be afraid to be yourself. And to, you know, step through
Speaker:when you start to feel constraint or push back from
Speaker:yourself, just step through it, knowing that there's greater
Speaker:things ahead. And when you if you are, you start to rise into
Speaker:your most authentic self, that gives you the opportunity to
Speaker:really start transforming other's lives, which is what we
Speaker:all want to do, but you can't do
Speaker:Until you focus on yourself first. So like you said, you
Speaker:know, it's not being selfish. It's just self care, take care
Speaker:of yourself get into that authentic zone, then this i
