Episode 15
Turning Art into Reality with Singer Songwriter Caley Kenny
Caley Kenny is a 26 year old bad ass soulpreneur. She grew up in a tumultuous environment, and has overcome the many barriers that come with mental health issues, lack of support, and essentially building something from the ground up. She is now living her purpose and creating the life of her dreams. She is obsessed with turning art into reality and stepping into the person she is supposed to be. Caley has a super inspiring story of overcoming obstacles while turning her mess into her foundation.
Make sure to check her music out and go follow her on social media!
www.open.spotify.com/artist/27fySPs1C3QuEZeMKdE0m8
www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yQzVRTeuQ93ASqUKuZHHA
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇
https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/
Transcript
I was like, really, really depressed. I was just literally
Speaker:smoking weed all day.
Speaker:I didn't have a job. And I was like, What is the point of life?
Speaker:Like I was just so down, and that it was like hopelessness
Speaker:and I was like, there's gotta be something like what is what am I
Speaker:here to do? And I was listening to all of this old jazz like
Speaker:Eddie James and Billie Holiday and and Amy Winehouse and stuff
Speaker:like that. And it was like a lightbulb just like went off in
Speaker:my brain. And it was like, Oh, this is what I'm here to do.
Speaker:Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big
Speaker:me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie and together,
Speaker:we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all
Speaker:things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,
Speaker:you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for
Speaker:change. You're ready to expand your impact and leave your old
Speaker:self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can
Speaker:positively influence your business, your community, and
Speaker:ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right
Speaker:into it.
Speaker:Hello, everyone. Welcome that to this episode of The becoming
Speaker:baby podcast. I have with me today, Kaylee penny. She is a 26
Speaker:year old singer and songwriter based in the San Francisco Bay
Speaker:Area. She grew up in an abusive
Speaker:environment, and has overcome many barriers that have come
Speaker:with mental health issues, miles apart, and essentially building
Speaker:something from the ground up. Right now she is following her
Speaker:passion following her dreams, creating the life that she
Speaker:desires by chasing her dreams of becoming a singer and
Speaker:songwriter. Hello, Kaylee, how are you doing today? Hello, I am
Speaker:great. How are you? I am doing fabulous. I'm so excited to have
Speaker:you on today. And to hear more about your story. Definitely.
Speaker:Thank you so much for having me, of course. So let's just dive
Speaker:right into it. So just Can you give us just a quick little
Speaker:summary of you and what you're about and what you've got going
Speaker:on right now. Yeah, so I actually, I live in LA now. So
Speaker:that's a more recent thing. So I am following music. I'm a singer
Speaker:and a songwriter.
Speaker:And so that's what I'm doing. I'm writing albums, and I'm also
Speaker:diving into, you know, making documentaries and more real
Speaker:content. And so making stuff that is real raw, and people
Speaker:can, you know, kind of making art out of out of real life
Speaker:and trying to connect with as many positive people who, you
Speaker:know, positive, successful, good hearted people. So that is what
Speaker:I'm up to right now.
Speaker:So where did you Where did you come from? Like, what? How did
Speaker:you get to LA? Was that kind of like, a solo trip? Tell me a
Speaker:little bit about that. Yeah, um, so I, well, I grew up in a town
Speaker:that was kind of like a wine and cheese town, very like boozy and
Speaker:sheltered. And I never felt like I really fit in. I was very
Speaker:rebellious, and kind of like a really independent thinker. So
Speaker:it never really felt like home being in the Bay Area, for
Speaker:whatever reason. And about three years ago, me and my best
Speaker:friend, Dane, I've known him for almost 10 years now. We moved
Speaker:down kind of spur of the moment, we were like, We just need to
Speaker:like make a big decision and go do something awesome and go live
Speaker:our lives. So we moved down to LA like three years ago, and we
Speaker:stayed for like three months. Just trying to figure it out.
Speaker:Like staying at Airbnb ease and stuff like that.
Speaker:And we ended up going back because it was like pretty hard.
Speaker:We weren't really that prepared. But anyways, I completely fell
Speaker:in love with la then. And so in April, I actually, like stopped
Speaker:working with my band. I had a band up in the Bay Area.
Speaker:And so I stopped working with them. Because I was like a
Speaker:little bit more serious trying to push things forward and they
Speaker:were more so doing it as like a hobby. So once I stopped doing
Speaker:that, I had
Speaker:have the opportunity to like, you know, live wherever I wanted
Speaker:to.
Speaker:And so I decided to just make the leap. And so I packed my two
Speaker:dogs, which are right behind me, they'll probably pop up in a
Speaker:minute. I pack them into my little, you know, coupe, and,
Speaker:you know, brought my clothes and then, you know, now I'm here so
Speaker:awesome. So is it just you right now you're kind of solopreneur
Speaker:whoring it doing it on your own? Yeah, definitely. For the most
Speaker:part, it's been a really solo thing. So far, I've met a few
Speaker:select really quality people down here so far. So I'm really
Speaker:grateful for that.
Speaker:But for the most part, yeah, I've been, you know, solo,
Speaker:pairing it up.
Speaker:Can you tell me a little bit more about your music? Like,
Speaker:what kind of impact Are you trying to make with your music?
Speaker:And and where did that come from? What made you inspired to
Speaker:make the kind of music that you make?
Speaker:Yeah. So I remember always writing like poetry. I remember
Speaker:the first time I started, I picked up.
Speaker:Machiavelli, like, it was like an old book in my house. Like, I
Speaker:don't, it was so random, but I was like, Oh, this looks
Speaker:elegant. Let me see what's in here. And I would just look at
Speaker:the words. And it was pretty hard to understand when I was
Speaker:like, because I was probably like, 12, or something.
Speaker:But I was looking at the words, and I was just so drawn to these
Speaker:cool words. And so I started writing poetry. And it was like,
Speaker:pretty metaphorical, like, using, like, symbolism and stuff
Speaker:like that, to just portray, like, what was happening, and
Speaker:what was happening in my life was a lot of abuse, you know,
Speaker:and so it was, you know, some dark poetry and I just felt this
Speaker:need to express myself, you know, it was less on the, you
Speaker:know, beautiful flowers outside, and more on the, you know, like,
Speaker:symbolism for, like psychology that I felt was going on, or
Speaker:whatever, at that time.
Speaker:So I started writing poetry and didn't really, like think too
Speaker:much of it.
Speaker:And then about five years ago, I was like, really, really
Speaker:depressed. I was just literally smoking weed all day.
Speaker:I didn't have a job. And I was like, What is the point of life?
Speaker:Like I was just so down, and that it was like hopelessness.
Speaker:And I was like, there's got to be something like, what is what
Speaker:am I here to do? And I was listening to all of this old
Speaker:jazz, like, at a James and Billie Holiday, and an Amy
Speaker:Winehouse and stuff like that. And it was like a lightbulb just
Speaker:like went off in my brain. And it was like, Oh, this is what
Speaker:I'm here to do. And so I started singing, and then I was like,
Speaker:Well, I'm a good writer. So let me try and write some songs. But
Speaker:I was like, I don't know if I can do it, you know, rhyming and
Speaker:all that. But it clicked after a while.
Speaker:And so yeah, that's kind of like where that where that came from.
Speaker:It's it's really a lot like, you know, kind of like Amy
Speaker:Winehouse, like jazz soul.
Speaker:But I do experiment with different like, I had a reggae
Speaker:song, and alternative rock song. So it's kind of it's kind of a
Speaker:mixture of a lot of things but yeah, mainly like the vocals
Speaker:like go along with jazz So
Speaker:okay, yeah, so one thing that I'm I teach and then I preach is
Speaker:repurchasing your mess into your foundation. So do you feel that
Speaker:like, you know, that some of that stuff that you went through
Speaker:in your earlier years, some of that trauma? How do you feel
Speaker:like that has served you now?
Speaker:Yeah, um, so I,
Speaker:I see.
Speaker:I see a lot of people just being really easily like reactive
Speaker:instead of,
Speaker:instead of like thinking for themselves, and I mean, no
Speaker:shade, or anything like that. But, um, but for me, I had to,
Speaker:like, defend myself so much. And, and protect myself so much.
Speaker:Like my, like, my state of being and my thoughts and my, my
Speaker:opinions, I had to protect them so much for myself.
Speaker:That I feel like I'm a pretty independent thinker, and that
Speaker:has allowed me to
Speaker:you know, like, like, what's what's the benefit of being
Speaker:An independent thinker, it's like you don't you kind of you
Speaker:think for yourself and you,
Speaker:you're not easily swayed by, like, different opinions. So
Speaker:like, you know, like, I mean, I'm not political at all, but
Speaker:you know, like that kind of like, oh, triggering words. And
Speaker:it's like, it's this thing. And it's like, well, I'm kind of,
Speaker:like, in the middle of like, being an intellectuals, like,
Speaker:just look at things from your own perspective, really think
Speaker:about them, you know, but it's also made me really confident,
Speaker:like,
Speaker:you know, I know who I am, and I know what I want, and all that
Speaker:kind of stuff, you know, because I had to be so protective of it,
Speaker:and, you know, defend myself, you know, from, from, like,
Speaker:attacks on, on who I am, and, you know, my validity,
Speaker:basically. So I'm pretty confident in that area, you
Speaker:know, growing up, would you say, Did you, did you have
Speaker:confidence? Or were you kind of schnorr shell off?
Speaker:Um, I honestly, I think both my parents, they say, like,
Speaker:they're, my dad is like, an intellectual. My mom is, like,
Speaker:more on the reserve side. So they're like, how did we have
Speaker:you? They were like, cuz they're like, You're like a social
Speaker:butterfly, you know, how did this happen? So I've always been
Speaker:pretty confident, I'm naturally like, in your DNA, or whatever,
Speaker:I've been, like a vocal person, I've been wanting to express
Speaker:myself and, you know, kind of sassy in a way, you know,
Speaker:but like, be going through, like, all of that abuse, like
Speaker:it, it made me very shelled off after us, you know, after like,
Speaker:years. So I had to, like, break out of that shell, because I was
Speaker:very, like, insecure because of that abuse, you know, for a
Speaker:while, and I had to figure out how to get out of that. So do
Speaker:you do you recall, like, what you're kind of like, aha moment,
Speaker:like, what your awakening moment when you realize
Speaker:that you were kind of living in that shell, and that, you know,
Speaker:it was time to release, you know, that past and move
Speaker:forward.
Speaker:Um, there's honestly been multiple layers, like multiple
Speaker:instances, like, like, you know, I was hanging around with people
Speaker:who didn't really have a lot of ambition. And I think that
Speaker:really drove me nuts. Because I was trying to have a friendship
Speaker:and support people and have them be supportive of me. But at the
Speaker:same time,
Speaker:you know, I had to be who I was, and go after these bigger ideas,
Speaker:these bigger dreams. And so I think, like, a part of it was
Speaker:actually leaving the friend group that I, you know, I love
Speaker:them to death. But part of it was that and me just going out
Speaker:on my own and being like, I'm not okay with like living a
Speaker:mediocre life anymore. You know, I need to go bigger, whatever
Speaker:that means. I'll do whatever it takes, you know. So I love that.
Speaker:Yeah, the biggest part of my journey was when I decided to
Speaker:move away from my hometown. And basically, it was just kind of
Speaker:like, you know, what, you guys, you're great for you, but you're
Speaker:not great for me. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna move forward. And I
Speaker:find that this is a piece that is really, really important to
Speaker:finding success in your life and becoming your own person is
Speaker:realizing that you can love people, you can care about
Speaker:people, they can be your friend. But that doesn't mean that that
Speaker:relationship is serving you and what you want. Sometimes we have
Speaker:to let that go and dive into the unknown and really go after what
Speaker:it is that we want. So moving moving forward back to five
Speaker:years ago, I guess, when you were kind of in your depressive
Speaker:state, and you're smoking weed.
Speaker:What were you doing for work at this point, like, were you were
Speaker:you living with what was what was kind of going on? Can you
Speaker:shed some light on that? Um, yes. I was living with my friend
Speaker:Dane. And like I said, I've known him for like, almost 10
Speaker:years now. And this, this, like, really quickly after I met him,
Speaker:um, we moved in together. And so it was like, it was like, once
Speaker:that happens, just coincidentally, all of all of
Speaker:the issues of my past kind of like locked up on me because I
Speaker:was,
Speaker:you know, maybe 19 or 18 or 19. And so it was like, all this
Speaker:stuff was catching up to me and my and my, and I also, you know,
Speaker:I had just gone through
Speaker:an abortion and like so, and I've had to in my life and so he
Speaker:kind of acted as like the best like friend and, and, like
Speaker:pillar of support for me, he was actually a huge reason that I
Speaker:was able to get better, like with all of these issues is
Speaker:because he was there. And he would listen to me and I would
Speaker:sometimes be talking like complete craziness. But he knew,
Speaker:and I knew that it was like, I just needed to vent it out. And
Speaker:he would never judge me and he would always be there to listen
Speaker:to me. So he helped me like he would go to work. And it was
Speaker:like, you know, it was like, we were married, almost, you know,
Speaker:but he would he would go to work. And I would stay home and
Speaker:like take care of our, like the dog. And because I couldn't like
Speaker:he and I both knew, like I couldn't. I tried, like so many
Speaker:times to like, get a regular job. And I just couldn't like
Speaker:hold it down because of my instability, you know?
Speaker:So yeah, like, I honestly, in that time, just tried to
Speaker:develop, like the habits of like, becoming happy. And so
Speaker:what I was doing at that time is like, finding happiness and
Speaker:being okay, like just being okay, you know. So I would go
Speaker:and I would walk the dogs. And that would be like one thing
Speaker:that I had to do, you know, just to be sane, and to be happy, you
Speaker:know? So? Yeah, yeah. And I mean, that's really a process,
Speaker:especially when you have gone through trauma in your life. And
Speaker:in your childhood, a lot of times, what people do is they
Speaker:will just kind of box that shit up. And then we'll just walk it
Speaker:away. And then what happens, which sounds like you know, kind
Speaker:of manifested in your life is years down the road, it catches
Speaker:up to you and it you have to deal with it. So
Speaker:you know, you guys, don't be discouraged if you're going
Speaker:through anything difficult right? Now, a lot of the times,
Speaker:this is a process that we have to go through, in order to get
Speaker:to that next level. It's not instantaneous, it does take
Speaker:time, it takes healing, it takes self love and exactly what
Speaker:Kaylee is seeing here, how she was just taking it one day at a
Speaker:time, whether that be you know, one day just being able to get
Speaker:out of bed to go and you know, tear her dog for a walk like
Speaker:that is a win. And if that's where you are right now, I just
Speaker:want you to know that I love you love you. There are people out
Speaker:there supporting you make sure that you reach out to other
Speaker:people because when you are in this place, you can feel
Speaker:extremely, extremely alone in and when you are depressed, it
Speaker:doesn't feel like there are people out there that care about
Speaker:you. I have struggled with depression myself for a very,
Speaker:very long time. And you know, we I'm sure Kaley would be someone
Speaker:she would be happy to talk to you as well. So if you want to
Speaker:reach out to her, you want to reach out to me, feel free to do
Speaker:that. And I just want to thank you, Kaylee for being like so
Speaker:open and honest and vulnerable with your story. I know that
Speaker:that takes a lot of courage. And you are helping people right
Speaker:now. Because there are people all over the place who are
Speaker:ashamed of their stories who are scared to say what's going on.
Speaker:And it takes women like you standing up and being like,
Speaker:Listen, this is what I have gone through. This is what I have
Speaker:walked through. And this is where I'm going and look at
Speaker:where you are now. Like now you are out. You're chasing your
Speaker:dreams. You're, you're living on your own, you are creating your
Speaker:reality. And, girl, I'm just so proud of you. Oh, this is so
Speaker:awesome.
Speaker:Thank you. No, it's so true. It's so true. It's like there's
Speaker:no reason to be ashamed of what we've gone through. These things
Speaker:make us so much stronger. I look I always my kind of thing is
Speaker:like the diamonds. Like diamonds, but
Speaker:but also because I feel like I've been carved out by these
Speaker:things and I'm actually so grateful for them. Like how you
Speaker:ask them the beginning how these things like, helped me in my in
Speaker:my life now. I feel like I've been carved out you know, and I
Speaker:needed to go through that adversity and there's no other
Speaker:way you know, and now you know you can sparkle and and and just
Speaker:like live to your full potential, you know? Yeah, and
Speaker:it's so true. I mean, we every single thing that has I am with
Speaker:you Like every single thing that has happened to me as
Speaker:You know, horrible as some of it might sound to some people, like
Speaker:when I explain it. For me, I'm numb to it because I lived
Speaker:through it. So to me, I'm just like, why are you.
Speaker:But as horrible as it may sound, I am so grateful for every
Speaker:single thing. Because if I hadn't been through that, I
Speaker:wouldn't be where I am now. You know. And
Speaker:as one of my mentors and my lead, he always is talking about
Speaker:how everything happens for you, not to you. And when you adapt,
Speaker:that's really when your wife can vote. Because I mean, I'm sure
Speaker:you still struggle now. Right? There's still things that Yeah,
Speaker:of course, yeah. So we're always gonna struggle, there's always
Speaker:gonna be those things to come up. But you just have to take
Speaker:that ownership and be able to look like, well, what is there
Speaker:to learn? How can I How can I grow?
Speaker:So one of the one of the lines that you wrote in,
Speaker:in your email to me, was that you bring art into reality, and
Speaker:you love making art out of life? Can you expand upon that a
Speaker:little bit? Because I just, I just, I just love that.
Speaker:Um, yeah, so I
Speaker:you know, I love britney spears and everything, okay, pop star
Speaker:like icon, right? But I was never, you know, the kind of, I
Speaker:always hated the idea of pop music and pop celebrities, and
Speaker:just these things that are so superficial, and it's like,
Speaker:there's all of this, like, packaging around it. And I get
Speaker:it on a on a business sense. But at the same time, in the longer
Speaker:run of things, like, in terms of like, your legacy, and what you
Speaker:want to leave to the world. Like, I don't, I don't want to
Speaker:say, Yeah, I was like, a pop princess. And it was all kind
Speaker:of, like, this manufactured thing, and whatever. I want to
Speaker:bring, like actual life to, to people, you know, I want to, you
Speaker:know, all my lyrics are just things that have happened to me,
Speaker:they're just real, they're just real emotions, you know, and in
Speaker:terms of like, music videos, or documentaries, or any type of
Speaker:like, film content that people can see, I want them to get real
Speaker:life from it, I want them to see, you know, somebody's going
Speaker:through a hard time or, you know, just making a joke just
Speaker:being real with with the camera. Like, I mean, I, I think that's
Speaker:really like, that goes along with,
Speaker:with, like, what we, what we, like our generation kind of does
Speaker:now is is less manufactured, and it's less fake, and you can't
Speaker:really get away with that kind of crap anymore. Because, you
Speaker:know, people can see right through it, and you really want
Speaker:to connect with people. So, I don't know. Um, yeah.
Speaker:You know, so as far as legacy goes, What is this is gonna be a
Speaker:loaded question, what is the legacy that you want to, to
Speaker:leave? Like, if you picture yourself, you know, it 50 years
Speaker:from now? Like, what, what do you what is that story that
Speaker:you're going to be telling your grandkids and you're great.
Speaker:Yeah. So, I mean, part of it is the is the kids thing. That's
Speaker:part of my legacy. I want to be like a really good mother, you
Speaker:know, um, so that's really important to me is having my
Speaker:kids be like, wow, like, I have the coolest mom ever. And I just
Speaker:really respect her and she just did such a great job. Like, I
Speaker:feel so loved that part of my legacy, you know, it's a huge
Speaker:part of it. Another part of it is is leaving
Speaker:is leaving the arts, you know, is leaving, you know, films and
Speaker:songs that people resonate with.
Speaker:And they know like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm a real person and I,
Speaker:you know, I'm not really trying to put on like a front
Speaker:and I really just want to make cool stuff, you know.
Speaker:And yeah, so, yeah. So yeah, I love that and I believe that,
Speaker:you know, with with my becoming the big me, you know, brand and
Speaker:coaching is all about
Speaker:stepping into alignment with yourself and you are allowed to
Speaker:get massively rewarded on a monetary level, just for being
Speaker:who you are.
Speaker:And that's one of the reasons why I love this story. Because
Speaker:with through your music like you, you are really leaving a
Speaker:piece of yourself like, this is your soul coming out into
Speaker:existence into the world. And I just think that is so awesome.
Speaker:Have you? Have you ever had fear of like sharing that was a part
Speaker:of your life? Maybe like, like, your band where you weren't
Speaker:quite as you know, authentic or anything? Yeah, no, I mean, I
Speaker:still I still have fear about, you know, performing and, and
Speaker:letting people see like the real me, which is silly, because I
Speaker:mean, that's it. That's it is what it is like, I am me. I'm
Speaker:never gonna.
Speaker:Yeah, exactly. And so but I think we all have fears about
Speaker:being, like, completely exposed for who we truly are. I don't,
Speaker:there's nothing to be ashamed of, though, you know, what I
Speaker:mean? Like, we need to be who we truly are, and, and share that
Speaker:with the world. Because if we don't share, you know, our
Speaker:journeys and share ourselves with others, then it's not a
Speaker:very fulfilling life, you know, and it's doing like yourself a
Speaker:disservice, as well as other people who aren't able to, like,
Speaker:get the value from, from your story and everything. So you
Speaker:have to share yourself, you know, it is scary, though.
Speaker:That's the whole. That's, it is what it is, like, you have to
Speaker:get out of your comfort zone, you know, because everything. If
Speaker:you're going to do something that you haven't done before,
Speaker:you're probably not going to be comfortable with it. But on the
Speaker:other side of that is like, immense happiness, because
Speaker:you're going to do it and you're gonna be like, Oh, my God, I
Speaker:can't believe I waited so long. This is amazing. You know, so,
Speaker:yeah. hard until you have done it once you've done it. And it's
Speaker:like,
Speaker:Yeah, exactly, exactly. And also, like, I think the like, I
Speaker:honestly, I think of it as like, a portal or like, it's like your
Speaker:own energy and your own desires, and who you truly are on your,
Speaker:your true gifts. Like, those are a source, they're, they're like,
Speaker:the most potent energy you could draw from. So I always, you
Speaker:know, I grew up like, Oh, my mom and dad just work nine to five,
Speaker:and like, they're kind of complaining a lot. And like,
Speaker:they didn't really seem like that inspired. You know, so
Speaker:like, that doesn't seem like, you know, and I think a lot of
Speaker:like, our generation kind of went through that they're like,
Speaker:this kind of seems like, Bs, like, what are they doing? And
Speaker:so tap on the other side of that tapping into, like, your true
Speaker:potential, and you're, like, what you really want to do and
Speaker:that that is way more potent energy. And that's gonna, like,
Speaker:you know, proliferate the things in your life. And, you know, so
Speaker:you have to, you have to use that source, you know, for all
Speaker:that.
Speaker:So how I'm, I'm definitely on the crazy woowoo side of things
Speaker:these days, I never used to be I was like, completely opposite.
Speaker:But have you like, how has mindset, belief, spirituality,
Speaker:any of those kinds of topics? How has that played into your
Speaker:life and your growth?
Speaker:Um, okay, so for in terms of mindset, I think mindset is
Speaker:honestly, everything.
Speaker:And of course, like, we've heard that a million times, but like,
Speaker:the things that people say that are cliche, or because people
Speaker:keep saying them, because it resonates, you know,
Speaker:but mindset is truly everything.
Speaker:Back, you know, years ago, when I had gone through all these
Speaker:things, and I was struggling so much just for, you know, to get
Speaker:through a day and for basic things, like I was just so
Speaker:struggling.
Speaker:But I was, I was like, in a victim mindset. I was like, why
Speaker:is this happening to me, like, I feel so bad for myself. I can't
Speaker:do anything to help myself. And it was just a rotating mindset,
Speaker:you know, and that's just through your thoughts throughout
Speaker:the day. And as soon as I say, Okay, I started listening to
Speaker:this really weird thing on YouTube. How I found it. I think
Speaker:it was like related to like law of attraction and stuff. This
Speaker:guy's name, I think it was called Bashar. So it was like
Speaker:Porsche or something. It was this really weird guy who kind
Speaker:of talked about like anything like being real, like, it was
Speaker:really out there and weird but so I was listening to that and
Speaker:listening to a lot of jazz and stuff.
Speaker:But that kind of broke me out of like this kind of dead end
Speaker:mindset was like, oh, okay, wait, anything actually is
Speaker:possible. I've always believed that, okay, how do I like
Speaker:integrate that, more of that, you know, and just law of
Speaker:attraction is just you like you, you become what you think. And
Speaker:so I listened to a lot of I listened to a lot of like
Speaker:Abraham Hicks like law of attraction stuff just to get me
Speaker:through and to, you know, like, reprogram my mind because I was
Speaker:like, No, this isn't working, whatever program I'm running is
Speaker:not working very well. So I'm going to try and download all
Speaker:these new mindsets. And that honestly was like, the number
Speaker:one thing that like broke me out of will. It just broke me out of
Speaker:my mindset and into a new one. And then it was better, you
Speaker:know, began up leveling process. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. How do you
Speaker:tie in, like self care, and, like gratitude, or any of that
Speaker:kind of stuff, you tie that into your routine to keep high
Speaker:vibrational state? Yeah, you You definitely you have to, um,
Speaker:like, in terms of like, self care, I'm always
Speaker:I used to not be good with this. But I, I just think of myself as
Speaker:if I was my own friend. And so, you know, you're going to be
Speaker:like, so nice to your friend, and so caring, and you're going
Speaker:to be like, well just take a break or take a bath. Like,
Speaker:don't overthink it, you'll be fine. But with ourselves, we're
Speaker:like that, you know, it's like,
Speaker:okay, so just pretend like you're your best friend. And,
Speaker:you know, say what they would say to you, you know, so So, you
Speaker:know, take a nice long bath, you know, make, I always like, I
Speaker:can't go out of the house without like getting fully
Speaker:ready. Even if it's like just a little bit of makeup, at least I
Speaker:look polished. Because that does so much for your self
Speaker:confidence, you know what I mean? It's just, like night day
Speaker:difference, I feel so much more confident when I'm like, put
Speaker:together. And you know, just like, just a little bit of care
Speaker:goes a long way. You know, I always you know, keep my
Speaker:surroundings like, clean, like, I care for everything and you
Speaker:know,
Speaker:you know, lighting candles and stuff like that just just good
Speaker:for you, you know, comforting yourself. Um, yeah,
Speaker:I think it can be kind of hard sometimes when you're on this,
Speaker:you know, entrepreneurial journey, especially as women I
Speaker:feel we kind of can let like,
Speaker:we put ourselves last a lot of the times, you know, like we're
Speaker:trying to show up and serve people. And we're in a business,
Speaker:when you're trying to build a business, there's always all
Speaker:this tasks that you need to do. And a lot of times, we can let
Speaker:that go, we can let that self care piece kind of slide, slide
Speaker:away. And what I realized for myself personally, and my
Speaker:clients and everyone that I've really worked with, is that when
Speaker:you are entrepreneur, self care is more important than anything
Speaker:else ain't more important than any of the you know, business
Speaker:tangible strategies, the going, going going because
Speaker:you are your business
Speaker:or your business. And when you're out there having to share
Speaker:yourself in that way. You need to make sure that you're taking
Speaker:care of yourself first, because it was kind of hard for you to
Speaker:get to the place where you realize that was kind of like a
Speaker:slow journey. Was it kind of like a smack in the head?
Speaker:Yeah, I mean, I think it was probably a little bit of a slow
Speaker:journey.
Speaker:Like at first I would I would honestly be so excited to start
Speaker:working on songs and working on this and not that I would wake
Speaker:up and then I wouldn't like I wouldn't I wouldn't take a
Speaker:shower yet. I would just like go like straight on my computer or
Speaker:straight on this and that and then like before you know it
Speaker:it's like all this time has passed and my hair is still
Speaker:crazy. And I'm like wait a second.
Speaker:This is not the Okay, so So yeah, I think making just like
Speaker:the routine of everything you know, I make sure that I
Speaker:Go to, you know, do like exercise, at least, you know, a
Speaker:couple of times a week. And just having those set routines at the
Speaker:same time is golden, you know, like, um, yeah, and just, I just
Speaker:think routine is because it's like, then you don't have to
Speaker:think about it, you know? But if every day is different than it's
Speaker:like, you're going to Oh, no, nevermind, nevermind this that.
Speaker:So you know, so prioritize putting a routine around your
Speaker:self care and around around taking care of yourself first,
Speaker:have that be the foundation, you know, and then, and then put,
Speaker:you know, schedule the time for your business. Yeah, I love that
Speaker:so much, because so often, we put like, all of the big tasks
Speaker:in our calendar first. And then we're like, oh, we'll just do
Speaker:the other stuff. Like, as you know, when I can fit it in, and
Speaker:then never fit it in. So I love that you're saying like,
Speaker:schedule yourself care that
Speaker:I love, I do that I schedule. Care, like, I have a period of
Speaker:time in the morning and a period of time in the evening. And it's
Speaker:like, no, this is for me.
Speaker:And God is sacred, like that is the most important part of my
Speaker:day. It's true. It's true. It's so important. So important.
Speaker:And so one of the other things that one does the way that you
Speaker:described it, I really liked so that your thoughts holding you
Speaker:in a mental cage? Can you expand on that phrase a little bit
Speaker:more? Yeah. Um, so like, like I said, You know, I grew up in a
Speaker:very abusive environment. And the, the, when people hear that
Speaker:they think, like, oh, like, you were beaten, and like, you know,
Speaker:that sucks. But like, you know, you're not, you're not in that
Speaker:anymore. So whatever, right, but the brunt of it was actually
Speaker:emotional abuse, and somebody, you know, my father, just
Speaker:putting these seeds of doubt in my mind, you know, he had his
Speaker:own issues, and that got projected onto me, you know, so,
Speaker:after a while, I was like, doubting my own my own
Speaker:confidence. And I was doubting, Is this real? Wait, did that
Speaker:actually happen? You know, it was like, and then I, it was,
Speaker:like, I honestly discovered that I had this like, self hatred for
Speaker:myself. And there was, and it's like, that doesn't make sense.
Speaker:Why would I hate myself, but it was because it was, like,
Speaker:planted inside me, you know, because of the environment. And
Speaker:I subconsciously developed these beliefs that were not serving me
Speaker:at all. And so, you know, it reached a point where it was
Speaker:like, completely like a cage. And I think that that's, that's
Speaker:what like, mental illness is, it's like, you know, you don't
Speaker:feel like you're in control anymore. Because these thoughts
Speaker:have become so all encompassing, that it. It's like, how do you
Speaker:move? Everything is in the way, you know? Um, yeah, I think
Speaker:that's what makes people go nuts is,
Speaker:you know, it's like, oh, it's like, you know, you just you
Speaker:reach a point where you're like, this is just not working.
Speaker:There's something, you know. So yeah, like, like I said, just
Speaker:reprogramming. Like, I would write out in my journal, all of
Speaker:these crazy thoughts that were going through my mind, and I
Speaker:didn't realize that I had these it would be like, I effing hate
Speaker:myself. But oh, I didn't know I actually thought that.
Speaker:Like, think about it, okay, no, like, I don't, I don't hate
Speaker:myself, you know, like, reason with yourself and be like, is
Speaker:that true, please, that's total BS, I will, you know, cuz we
Speaker:can't choose the environment that we grow up in, you know,
Speaker:and if it doesn't serve you, if it's giving you beliefs that are
Speaker:not serving you, then it's our responsibility to change those,
Speaker:you know, so but just doing the whole like, word vomit thing,
Speaker:and just writing out these crazy things. Like I would never want
Speaker:someone to find that. You would literally think I was like an
Speaker:insane person. We like but if that's what it was, you know,
Speaker:those are the, the person were holding me back. So, you know,
Speaker:and also you have to do is sometimes people, at least I
Speaker:know for me when I was first like kind of realizing what
Speaker:these toxic beliefs and programs that I had was, is I was like
Speaker:afraid to admit, afraid to even like look at that side of
Speaker:myself.
Speaker:But that's exactly what you have to do, you have to steer it head
Speaker:on, you have to write it down. So you can go, and you can read
Speaker:it and be like, that's total bullshit. Like that is not true
Speaker:at all. And then you can dissect the limiting belief. And that is
Speaker:when you can actually start to make changes, you have to be
Speaker:aware of it, like, nothing is gonna change. So
Speaker:you, you know, did that word vomit is
Speaker:mean that that's what you got to do, or even some people are not
Speaker:good at like a writing thing. So even if you just like pull out
Speaker:your cell phone, and just like, record your thoughts, like word
Speaker:vomit, just like stream of consciousness, don't block
Speaker:yourself because our ego and our consciousness is going to like,
Speaker:try to jump in away and like, have us not say the things
Speaker:because it doesn't want us to be like, embarrassed or to feel
Speaker:shameful. But you have to just like do that stream
Speaker:consciousness. So you can go back and you can be like, Oh,
Speaker:is that helping me? Yeah, yeah, no, like, I was telling you, my
Speaker:friend Dan, he was there to listen to me, we would have
Speaker:conversations. And I would be like, Okay, I know, this sounds
Speaker:crazy. But here's this crazy belief inside my head. And he
Speaker:would just let me you know, and so having somebody who can, who
Speaker:can just listen to you. It's like, he didn't have to say
Speaker:anything. comfort me. He didn't have to be like, No, that's not
Speaker:true. He just, he just had to listen.
Speaker:And he did. And so having somebody like that around who
Speaker:can just listen to you and not judge you and not try to fake
Speaker:but just listen. And you're like, Oh, well, yeah, we both
Speaker:know, that sounds crazy. But you know, hey, it is what it is. So
Speaker:you got to get out there. Can I ask? How is your relationship
Speaker:with your dad these days.
Speaker:Um, so it's, it's, I feel like, it'll always be complicated.
Speaker:Because there's, there's certain boundaries that you can cross
Speaker:with someone who that's like, unforgiveable. You know, I don't
Speaker:say it lightly, you know, that, oh, like, I have a grudge and
Speaker:I'll never forgive someone. But it's like, there's certain
Speaker:boundaries that you cross in a human where you're like,
Speaker:I'm never going back. Because I'm never letting that happen to
Speaker:myself again, you know, so you have to protect yourself. So for
Speaker:years, I just kind of cut myself off and didn't really, you know,
Speaker:engage in the relationship, it's been distant for like, years.
Speaker:And then, you know, right before I moved down to LA, so in March,
Speaker:I was actually, you know, I went back and I was living with him.
Speaker:And it was, he had, he's actually improved a lot over
Speaker:over a few years, he's a lot more aware of how other people
Speaker:feel, because that was kind of the main root problem is like,
Speaker:he didn't think about others having feelings, he just kind of
Speaker:like exploded his own issues over everything.
Speaker:And so I can tell that he's actually more conscious now.
Speaker:Which is great. You know, I mean, he actually hit me up, I
Speaker:think, yesterday or the day before. He was like, hey, um,
Speaker:and we talked like, every, every now and then he'll send me
Speaker:these, like, this YouTube video of like, this couple that like,
Speaker:goes on a boat, and they have people fund it for them or
Speaker:something, I don't know, some random thing. So but he actually
Speaker:texted me the other day, it was like, you know, I have I know, I
Speaker:haven't been
Speaker:the best dad, you know, obviously, but I want to fix
Speaker:that. And so it's like, you know, always have like, a
Speaker:certain amount of distance just because, you know, but what
Speaker:someone's capable of, you know, you're not going to put yourself
Speaker:in that same situation. You know, I don't look for his
Speaker:approval. I don't, you know, I don't expect like anything from
Speaker:him really, you know, but it is nice that at least we can be
Speaker:kind of cordial, and maybe, you know, he can come visit and you
Speaker:know, we'll see what happens but you know, I don't I'm not really
Speaker:too invested. If that makes sense. It was like I feel you on
Speaker:so many levels.
Speaker:But it's nice because once you kind of realize that others have
Speaker:pin other people's opinions of you are none of your business.
Speaker:You can kind of move forward in that way. Yeah, like you're not
Speaker:gonna allow them back into your life in the way that you used
Speaker:to. But it sounds like you know, if you're you guys are kind of
Speaker:communicating like
Speaker:You're able to move forward from, from things and, and, you
Speaker:know, forgive on some, on some level Obviously not.
Speaker:You know, don't put yourself back into the line of fire but
Speaker:move right. I love that, you know, you're not looking for his
Speaker:approval because that's something that I have personally
Speaker:struggled with for a very long time is because of that
Speaker:relationship because the the mental abuse, I'm constantly
Speaker:seeking his approval. And the moment that I realized that that
Speaker:didn't matter, like why am I looking for someone's approval
Speaker:who like, doesn't even care?
Speaker:That's when, like, free like, it's so freeing, and now I can
Speaker:talk I can have conversations with him. I can visit him I can
Speaker:do these things. I don't want to jump off of a cliff. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker:exactly. Exactly. Because like, you know, as children, like,
Speaker:we're depending, I mean, in my case, with like a parent, we're
Speaker:depending on these people for so much. But then once you become
Speaker:an adult, you're you depend on yourself, you know what I mean?
Speaker:For the most part, like, for those kinds of things, so you
Speaker:realize, like, okay, I don't need, I don't need my dad to
Speaker:tell me like that. He's proud of me. Like, I'm proud of me. I
Speaker:know that he has his own issues, you know, so you kind of become
Speaker:more mature and just just at least appreciate things for what
Speaker:you do have, you know, so? Yeah, you will, I mean, you, you said
Speaker:it right there, you realize that it comes from within yourself.
Speaker:That's all that matters, you know that you are proud of you.
Speaker:And I'm like feeling all kinds of like emotion surfacing.
Speaker:But I didn't know what to say I don't you know, I don't know you
Speaker:that, well, I'm just getting to know you. But I'm proud of you.
Speaker:I mean, listening to your story, what you've gone through where
Speaker:you are now, where you're going, I'm so excited to see all of the
Speaker:amazing things that are going to happen for you. And you're I
Speaker:mean, this is just the beginning, you're just at the
Speaker:beginning of your journey. And there's so much that I see
Speaker:happening in your life over these next couple of years. You
Speaker:guys, she has some really awesome, awesome, awesome stuff
Speaker:in the works outside of her singing. So you're going to want
Speaker:to make sure that you stay up to date with her if you are
Speaker:interested in
Speaker:let's say empowering apparel. That's all I'm gonna say about
Speaker:that, then you're definitely going to want to be in Kaylee's
Speaker:life and in her network. So, Kaylee, I really appreciate you
Speaker:for coming on and sharing your story with us. If there's one
Speaker:thing that you can leave the listeners with one final tip, if
Speaker:they only get one thing out of this whole, you know, 45 minute
Speaker:chat. What would that be?
Speaker:Well, thank you again, for having me on my last words.
Speaker:This sounds like so dramatic.
Speaker:My, my path that I want to end on is be the person that you
Speaker:want to be.
Speaker:So like, we all know, if we think about it, like in the back
Speaker:of our mind, you know, we want to be a certain type of person,
Speaker:we want to be a good person, we want to be a successful person.
Speaker:So be the person that you really want to be. Because we can get
Speaker:caught up in you know, reacting and stuff like that. We're only
Speaker:human, but and also be grateful.
Speaker:Though, be the person that you want to be and be grateful for
Speaker:all that you have going for you already.
Speaker:Thank you. I love that that is great. So you guys, where can
Speaker:people follow you? Where can they listen to your music, give
Speaker:me all the information so people can stay up to date with you and
Speaker:just keep watching you on your journey. Yeah, so I I love
Speaker:Instagram. So I'm getting more into the stories and stuff like
Speaker:that so steely Kenny on Instagram, I post some funny,
Speaker:and also some cool intellectual things on Twitter. Um, and then
Speaker:you can find Kayla Kenny, my music on YouTube some videos up
Speaker:there. So those are the main places that I hang out. Awesome.
Speaker:And you guys I'm gonna put all of her information, all the
Speaker:links, all the good stuff in the description in the show notes.
Speaker:So you will
Speaker:easily be able to just follow her there and thank you so much
Speaker:for tuning in to another episode of solopreneur Saturday
Speaker:featuring Kaylee Kenny. amazing, beautiful goddess singer.
Speaker:I'm so happy to have you know share your story and got to know
Speaker:you better I can't wait to continue to connect with you
Speaker:further because I feel like there's so much more than I want
Speaker:to talk to you of how
Speaker:that I can't fit on this.
Speaker:Absolutely thank you guys for watching and thank you so much
Speaker:for having me.
Speaker:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming
Speaker:the big me podcasts. If you found value in today's episode,
Speaker:make sure to leave us a review and share this episode with
Speaker:someone who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast
Speaker:grows. Are you curious about learning more about harnessing
Speaker:the power of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire
Speaker:challenge where we will dive deep into the subconscious mind
Speaker:how it works and give you some tangible action steps to begin
Speaker:rewiring it to serve you go to bit.li slash rewire challenge
Speaker:that bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm
Speaker:your host Djemilah Birnie, signing out
