Episode 1
Addiction, Teen Pregnancy, and Spiritual Awakening
We all have a story to tell- a past that makes us who we are. In this inaugural episode of the Becoming the Big Me podcast I share with you mine. From drug addiction and teen motherhood to building a business and my spiritual awakening. I have walked through the depths of hell and made it to the other side. This episode will give you a sneak peek into my journey and what brought me to be the woman, mom, and business owner I am today.
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇
https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/
https://www.instagram.com/mimi.the.genie/
Transcript
I was not going to be another statistic. My daughter was not
Speaker:going to be another statistic. I knew that I had to do everything
Speaker:in my power to create something larger to create something
Speaker:better to make a life worth living for the both of us.
Speaker:Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big
Speaker:me podcast. I'm your host,
Speaker:Djemilah, Birnie. And together, we will be stepping
Speaker:into our highest potential, exploring all things mind,
Speaker:body, and soul. With justice, major business,
Speaker:you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for
Speaker:change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old
Speaker:self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can
Speaker:positively influence your business, your community, and
Speaker:ultimately,
Speaker:the world.
Speaker:Without further ado, let's dive right into it.
Speaker:Hello, Hello,
Speaker:I am so excited to have you here joining me today for the first
Speaker:episode. Yes. Now, this has been a long time coming. And it has
Speaker:been something that has been on my heart for a year now and
Speaker:my
Speaker:head, my mind my limiting beliefs. I allowed them to hold
Speaker:me back from starting, but no longer you were going where I'm
Speaker:diving in. And I'm so excited to be on this journey. And I am so
Speaker:excited to bring you along with me on this journey. Now, this
Speaker:podcast is going to be a combination of interviews with
Speaker:lots of amazing, amazing beautiful solopreneurs
Speaker:entrepreneurs and spiritual minded individuals and a
Speaker:collection of monologues that I will be sharing with you just
Speaker:about all encompassing mind, body, soul, and just a little
Speaker:bit of business. I am an entrepreneur, I am a business
Speaker:owner, a solopreneur, a creative a visionary, and a multi
Speaker:passionate being. And I can't wait to dive in to all of these
Speaker:topics. to really help you grow and develop into your highest
Speaker:self and step into the human being a you are meant to be the
Speaker:person that you were put on this planet to be. Now as I start
Speaker:this podcast, I find it fitting for this first episode, to be a
Speaker:place where I can share my story. We all have a story, a
Speaker:pass that makes us
Speaker:who we are. And this this is mine. I grew up in a broken
Speaker:home,
Speaker:as many of us do these days, bouncing back from Parent to
Speaker:Parent,
Speaker:never really having a sense of home or making really strong
Speaker:bonds with friends
Speaker:and connections.
Speaker:And
Speaker:as a child, I never really realized how it affected me.
Speaker:But it did
Speaker:it it affected me greatly. So much so that by the age of 13 I
Speaker:found myself
Speaker:drinking
Speaker:every single day in class in my coffee cup.
Speaker:Not to be cool not
Speaker:to share with others. In fact, nobody even knew it was just my
Speaker:way of dealing with my pain of being able to feel okay. By the
Speaker:age of 14 I was doing lines of ketamine in the bathroom off my
Speaker:math book. And before I knew it, my drug problem just continued
Speaker:to escalate.
Speaker:I find myself I found myself
Speaker:doing anything really, that I could get my hands on. At the
Speaker:age of 18 I mean, by the age of 16, I was 18, barely. By the
Speaker:time that my daughter was born, I found myself homeless, living
Speaker:in a tent, and a full blown heroin addict. That is also when
Speaker:I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my now six year
Speaker:old. That is when everything hit me. I didn't know what I was
Speaker:going to do. I didn't know how I was going to move forward. All I
Speaker:knew was that where I was, was not okay.
Speaker:The man that I was with was not okay. Now, at this point, I had
Speaker:absolutely no self worth. I had been beaten down in an abusive
Speaker:relationship with a man who is also an addict. When I found out
Speaker:I was pregnant, I knew that this child, this being this innocent
Speaker:soul, did not deserve the life that I was living. She needed
Speaker:more. She didn't do anything. wasn't her fault that her mom
Speaker:was a stupid, pathetic loser. So I needed to change. And I needed
Speaker:to change real quick cuz baby was coming soon. It was not
Speaker:hard. It was not hard to leave that man. It was not hard to get
Speaker:out of that situation. But I had to find the strength inside me
Speaker:to do it. If I was going to keep that trial. Nobody thought I
Speaker:should. And I can see how from the outside looking in. wasn't
Speaker:necessarily, you know, the ideal situation wasn't something any
Speaker:child should be brought into.
Speaker:But you see, what happened
Speaker:was that child, she's sparked a fire inside my heart. A fire
Speaker:that has kept burning and burning. Since that moment. I
Speaker:knew that she had the odds stacked against her. I mean,
Speaker:heck, her mom was a freakin drug addict, teen mom.
Speaker:I knew
Speaker:that if I wanted this kid to have any chance, I was going to
Speaker:have to do everything in my power to be there for her in the
Speaker:best way possible. I was not going to be another statistic.
Speaker:My daughter was not going to be another statistic. I knew that I
Speaker:had to do everything in my power to create something larger to
Speaker:create something better to make a life worth living for the both
Speaker:of us.
Speaker:I wanted to give her
Speaker:the best start possible. She already had the odds stacked
Speaker:against her.
Speaker:So I had to
Speaker:create something and I had no clue what but I just knew that I
Speaker:had to create something that would allow me to stay home with
Speaker:her for at least that first year. Everything I had been
Speaker:reading was talking all about the importance of breastfeeding
Speaker:and the importance of that first year. And I wanted to make that
Speaker:happen for her. So paddling, mostly because of the guilt that
Speaker:I had inside.
Speaker:You see, I didn't even know, I was pregnant until the
Speaker:end of my third trimester. I mean, the end of my first
Speaker:trimester, not my third.
Speaker:The thing is, when you've been using drugs for so long, your
Speaker:body changes. And I hadn't had a period in a very long time.
Speaker:The only reason
Speaker:that I even knew or questioned
Speaker:anything at all, was because every time I would try to smoke
Speaker:a cigarette, I would throw up. One of my friends said to me,
Speaker:You ever thought that you might be pregnant? I was like, no, not
Speaker:possible.
Speaker:I didn't think
Speaker:that I could get pregnant. Because I wasn't having a
Speaker:period.
Speaker:Silly me.
Speaker:I was wrong. Um, but my friend, she insisted. She's like, just
Speaker:get a test. Just see. And so she actually bought me a test and I
Speaker:ended up taking it and Yep,
Speaker:sure enough, I was pregnant.
Speaker:But because I had been using, I was using heroin. That whole
Speaker:beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that I might have a long
Speaker:road ahead. And I had to do what I needed to do. To create a
Speaker:better life for this child. I was not going to let people the
Speaker:naysayers the haters be right. I wasn't going to let the people
Speaker:who told me I should get rid of her be right. So I decided,
Speaker:screw you guys. I'm going to create fucking magical last
Speaker:life. My daughter and I were gonna have an amazing life. I
Speaker:took the little money I had. And YouTube. And I started my first
Speaker:business. What was it you might ask? custom organic cloth
Speaker:diapers. The funny thing is, when I first decided on my
Speaker:product, I had no idea how to sell. Thankfully, in this 21st
Speaker:century, we have the blessing of the internet. And I had all the
Speaker:information I needed right at my fingertips. So I taught myself
Speaker:how to sew on YouTube, started creating drafting patterns and
Speaker:gifting them to the other teen moms at my teen moms school and
Speaker:the moms in my support groups to have them,
Speaker:test them out and give
Speaker:me their opinions and get reviews. I ended up finding a
Speaker:product that I was happy with. And I was off to the
Speaker:races.
Speaker:And it was wonderful. It was hard. It was fucking hard. But
Speaker:how was he able to create a business off of $50 and my
Speaker:phone. I built my business completely online, on Facebook.
Speaker:And I was selling all across the United States Do you like all
Speaker:over US, Canada and Australia. After two years, I had grown so
Speaker:large that I could no longer keep up with demand. And I had
Speaker:no clue how to sail, how to scale. I also had an active two
Speaker:year old running around getting everything I found myself having
Speaker:to stay up all night and so because I could no longer doing
Speaker:it doing it during the day. That's when I ended up closing
Speaker:my doors. That business served its personal purpose and it was
Speaker:time for me to move on. And up we're entering the corporate
Speaker:world of sales in the wireless industry. In less than a year, I
Speaker:was promoted from a mere sales rep to having my own store.
Speaker:After only a couple of months, I had improved the profit of that
Speaker:location by over 300%. That's when I realized I knew how to
Speaker:build businesses. And I knew how to utilize
Speaker:the internet. So I ended up leaving
Speaker:that corporate life, once again, for my daughter, I loved my job.
Speaker:But I have a full time nanny, and never got to see my kid. I
Speaker:was working six days a week commuting in Seattle. And on the
Speaker:day, I didn't come in, I was on the phone all day with my
Speaker:employees. So once again, it was time for a shift.
Speaker:And I shifted. After that,
Speaker:I got into a multi level marketing company. And that's
Speaker:where I got my
Speaker:introduction
Speaker:to the personal development world. Now, I still had a very,
Speaker:very, very long ways to go. But the seed was being planted. I
Speaker:didn't stay with that company for too long. It served its
Speaker:purpose. It did what it needed. But I realized that my passion
Speaker:was in helping other people's businesses grow. So that's what
Speaker:I started to do. I started freelancing, doing all sorts of
Speaker:different digital marketing tasks. That's what leads me into
Speaker:where I am today. Really, it was the precursor. At this point. I
Speaker:was not low whoo, whoo, quantum manifesting goddess. spiritual
Speaker:being that I am today. In fact, high was no, were near it. Those
Speaker:people drove me insane. My best friend growing up mom was this
Speaker:Dario? Typical, whoo, whoo, out there, hippie dippie. lady who
Speaker:would wear cowboy boots for a week straight saying, I have to
Speaker:wear them. 24 seven, until money comes in. We thought she was
Speaker:insane. But the funny thing is, every time she pulled out her
Speaker:boots, money came. So I actually had my spiritual awakening, my
Speaker:accidental spiritual awakening, about a year and a half ago.
Speaker:And it came
Speaker:in the form of a near death experience. I mean, it wasn't. I
Speaker:don't know if I can say near death, but
Speaker:I'll just tell you the story. So I was taking a shower, it was
Speaker:late at night, my daughter was asleep in her bed. And as I was
Speaker:in the shower,
Speaker:the my sound
Speaker:went out, my hearing, my sound went out. My hearing faded out,
Speaker:and I could no longer hear the water from my shower, hitting
Speaker:the floor. And then my vision started creeping in. It was at
Speaker:this moment that I knew I was going down. I was about to pass
Speaker:out. My whole life started flashing before my eyes. what
Speaker:was going to happen? Was my daughter gonna wake up to me
Speaker:dead in the shower with no one here. No one to know.
Speaker:alone.
Speaker:I desperately started to try and get out of the shower. I just
Speaker:had to get out of the house. If I could get out of the house.
Speaker:Someone would find me and someone would know that she was
Speaker:there. Those were the only thoughts going through my head.
Speaker:I didn't make it out of the house. I barely made it out of
Speaker:the bathroom. When I finally went down for the count
Speaker:No,
Speaker:I was not I'm still not sure why I passed out. I can only you
Speaker:know, give credit to the divine universe for that. Really. I
Speaker:know I wasn't passed out for Very long, because when I woke
Speaker:up my shower water was still warm.
Speaker:But when I woke up, I was not on any,
Speaker:in any dimension
Speaker:that I had ever experienced before. I could say there was
Speaker:rainbows everywhere I could see sounds and hear people's
Speaker:thoughts. In short, I felt like I had woken up in a mushroom
Speaker:trip. I was freaked out. So much so that I went into the doctor,
Speaker:the doctor said I was fine. And I was like, really, because
Speaker:there's rainbows all around your head. But I just went along my
Speaker:merry way. And continued, I was like, you know what's kind of
Speaker:cool. I'm having this ability to influence thoughts and
Speaker:conversations with my mind. Weird, never been able to do
Speaker:that before I can understand people completely. For the first
Speaker:time in my life, my mind was quiet. And I just felt a sense
Speaker:of bliss. It was overwhelming, however, because I wasn't sure
Speaker:what I was dealing with. Was I crazy, was I insane? Did I need
Speaker:to check myself into a mental Institute, I wasn't quite sure.
Speaker:I no longer knew what was real and what wasn't had I actually
Speaker:died was I in a different place? rehab what was going on. So I
Speaker:started begging, I started praying to the universe as a
Speaker:crease, make it stop, I can't handle it anymore. So after
Speaker:about a month of living in that state,
Speaker:it stopped.
Speaker:But I was forever changed. I started diving deep into
Speaker:spirituality, and the quantum field, I realize that that
Speaker:experience happened to me for a reason. I needed to have a
Speaker:belief in the energy and the power that we have. That's when
Speaker:I started consciously manifesting things in my life.
Speaker:And I was able to do it in an instant. Why? Because my belief
Speaker:was already there. I had experienced it, I had felt it.
Speaker:And it was crazy. Ever since then, I have dedicated myself
Speaker:into diving into all things quantum
Speaker:spirituality, subconscious programming, and
Speaker:raising the vibration and the consciousness of this planet.
Speaker:I discovered
Speaker:neuro linguistic programming and hypnosis. So I decided, heck,
Speaker:let's get trained on this ish. I want to learn how to tap into my
Speaker:subconscious program and I want to learn how to help other
Speaker:people tap into their subconscious programming, and
Speaker:rewire the limiting beliefs that have been holding us back for so
Speaker:long.
Speaker:We all have infinite
Speaker:potential inside of us. We have the power to create anything our
Speaker:hearts desires. We are spiritual beings living in a physical
Speaker:reality.
Speaker:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of The becoming
Speaker:the big me podcast. If you found value in today's episode, make
Speaker:sure to leave us a review and share this episode with someone
Speaker:who needs to hear this message. That's how our podcast grows.
Speaker:Are you curious about learning more about harnessing the power
Speaker:of your subconscious mind. then join the free rewire challenge
Speaker:where we dive deep into the subconscious mind how it works
Speaker:and give you some tangible action steps to begin rewiring
Speaker:it to start If you go to bit dot Lee slash rewire challenge that
Speaker:bit.li slash rewire challenge. Until next time, I'm your host
